- Town/Country : Not specified
- Title : Miss
- Birth Date : Not specified
- <3 status : Single
- Number of visits : 5090
- Number of comments : 39
- Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted
About helen_ellexo : Wooo!
About helen_ellexo : Wooo!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
by angry girlfriend / 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Ballsy427 / 07/25/2014 at 8:05am / United States (Armed Forces Pacific) / Work
Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML
by dypshyyt / 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Idk / 05/29/2014 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Animals
Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML
by Alone / 05/21/2014 at 7:05am / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML
by nofatchicks / 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Lookalike / 05/12/2014 at 10:38am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Not-pregnant / 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
by cantprovenothing / 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
by off to the whorehouse, then / 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Intimacy
Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML
by HanBroman / 03/17/2014 at 4:05am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by sh3lbst3r / 03/14/2014 at 6:59pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous