About helen_ellexo : Wooo!
helen_ellexo's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
helen_ellexo's favorite FMLs
Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 2:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, my son told me that he doesn't need to go to school because he doesn't need a job. It turns out he plans to get a life sentence in prison and live the rest of his life at the taxpayers' expense. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2015 at 12:20am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Oh Cock / 10/10/2015 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML
by iskalion / 10/10/2015 at 1:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2015 at 12:50am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Deweyboy / 10/10/2015 at 12:33am / United States / Intimacy
by biggs sprhro / 10/10/2015 at 12:25am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, my mom texted me, asking what I'd like her to get for dinner tonight. I texted back "Something exotic if you're up for it :)". Except I accidentally typed "erotic". I only noticed the typo when I checked after getting no reply. She comes home in a couple of hours. Shit, shit, shit. FML
by Anonymous / 10/07/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2015 at 4:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Work
by philosophicallll / 09/28/2015 at 4:25pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals
Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML
by Bex98 / 09/28/2015 at 12:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by kukumber / 09/15/2015 at 10:11pm / United States / Love
Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML
by C BOMB / 09/14/2015 at 7:58pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I brought a boy home for the first time, only to have my dad ask him what his mother's maiden name was. When he answered, my dad exclaimed, "Oh yeah! I think I dated her in high school. I could be your father!" FML
by meunluckycharms / 09/14/2015 at 3:54pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by VHBJ / 09/14/2015 at 1:54pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 2Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…