Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4357
  • Number of comments : 39
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About helen_ellexo : Wooo!

helen_ellexo's page activity

Visits<b>ItsNotThatBadBae</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 2:14am<b>dannnngthatsux</b> - the 10/25/2015 at 11:00pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 4:01pm<b>SuperCasual</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 11:36pm<b>CaptainSmith28</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 5:57pm<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 8:16am<b>siham_maghrabia</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 5:10am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 8:59pm<b>katachristic</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:28pm<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 5:45pm<b>DarkJediLove</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 4:24pm<b>Soninuva</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:56pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:39pm<b>MRP360</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:45pm<b>mrut92</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 12:19pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:45am<b>tj4234</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:51am<b>ladicius</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:15am

Fucked!<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 2:59am<b>jjeffriesftw</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:45pm<b>elusiveshame</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:39pm<b>MRP360</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 6:45pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 3:54pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 3:49pm<b>khorstmye</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 3:40pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 12:08am<b>IVXX_</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:58am<b>tchopper1969</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:46pm<b>kingzxcreed</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:26am

helen_ellexo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!


You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of helen_ellexo's badges

helen_ellexo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was convinced to face my fears of rollercoasters by a friend. I'm writing this at the highest point of the ride after being stuck over thirty minutes. FML

Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip 3 years ago. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (1456)

On 09/13/2015 at 10:22am - love - by TheLoneSoul - France

Today, I dropped my toothbrush. Because I have the spatial awareness of a mentally-retarded gnat, I hit my head against the sink as I bent down to get it. Then I did the same on the way back up, almost KO'ing myself. My boyfriend saw the whole thing and nearly pissed himself laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23349) - you deserved it (4401)

On 09/12/2015 at 4:11am - health - by dammit (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found a folder on my boyfriend's computer called "Facebook". It turned out to be a collection of thousands of photos from his female friends' accounts. It was all sorted into folders like "Big Tits", "Blonde", "Cameltoe", "Feet", and "Jailbait". FML


I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (2669)

On 09/11/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - Australia

Today, my wife is unreasonably mad at me for telling our kids to call toilet paper, "Butt Floss". FML

Today, I was attacked by a duck. I thought I was higher on the food chain than that. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was depressed so I went to the only bar in town. When I asked for a drink, I found out she works there as the bartender. FML


Today, I posted on Facebook about a cooking mishap I had. My fiancé and ex then spent the next hour trading stories of my other kitchen disasters in the comments. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (5130)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:29am - love - by Frozen Food Fan - United States (Nevada)

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28322) - you deserved it (5693)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29001) - you deserved it (1719)

On 08/10/2015 at 8:23am - work - by RetailRage (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML


I agree, your life sucks (23714) - you deserved it (5025)

On 08/07/2015 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by Gonzales (man) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (10415)

On 08/03/2015 at 10:14am - love - by Cygnus - United States (Iowa)

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML


I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (10409)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by stargate25 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML


I agree, your life sucks (23307) - you deserved it (3140)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25008) - you deserved it (2888)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: