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helen_ellexo

Offline (the 07/01/2015 at 2:43pm) | Search for a member

helen_ellexo

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3518
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About helen_ellexo : Wooo!

helen_ellexo's page activity

Visits<b>redstone7693</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 11:41pm<b>kingzxcreed</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 8:42pm<b>FatKitty</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 4:45am<b>mryeti</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 8:22am<b>tfriend3</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:14am<b>kirley</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:03am<b>Matt29</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:19am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:57pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:49am<b>dancechick22</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 4:28pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:13am<b>DanJones1986</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:38pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:55am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:47am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:12am<b>aj9319</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:12am<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:55am

Fucked!<b>IVXX_</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:58am<b>tchopper1969</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:46pm<b>kingzxcreed</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:26am

helen_ellexo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of helen_ellexo's badges

helen_ellexo's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (50129)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61829) - you deserved it (4775)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49393) - you deserved it (12144)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56026) - you deserved it (7156)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52783) - you deserved it (5183)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60221) - you deserved it (5146)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39291) - you deserved it (4418)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26463) - you deserved it (44689)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54682) - you deserved it (4945)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45229) - you deserved it (7365)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

#21083446
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46425) - you deserved it (6795)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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