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helen_ellexo

Offline (yesterday at 4:29am) | Search for a member

helen_ellexo

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1752
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About helen_ellexo : Wooo!

helen_ellexo's page activity

Visits<b>Rizzen</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:41pm<b>kingzxcreed</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 2:26am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:31am<b>decimater</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:36pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 3:16am<b>GarrettP28</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:41am<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Gb1625</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 9:04pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:49am<b>sammybone96</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 11:01pm<b>melinal</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 9:03pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 7:03pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:26am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:36am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 6:14am<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:49pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 12:10pm<b>bellenblaasbaas</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 5:15pm

Liked!<b>kingzxcreed</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:26am

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helen_ellexo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42761) - you deserved it (12497)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44983) - you deserved it (7316)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21582) - you deserved it (14453)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32608) - you deserved it (8889)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML

#20462590
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39527) - you deserved it (3342)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10177) - you deserved it (34536)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my mother that Americans are not the only people who celebrate Christmas. FML

#20419656
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28931) - you deserved it (2519)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40915) - you deserved it (13758)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML

#20403594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30734) - you deserved it (5738)

On 12/17/2012 at 11:21am - kids - by Bonding_boys (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML

#20175088
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23273) - you deserved it (3241)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by Tymer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (3661)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm now about 15 pounds overweight. When I called him a hypocrite as he's over 40 pounds overweight, he said that his weight didn't matter because "it's the girl's job to look hot." FML

#20171204
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31003) - you deserved it (4627)

On 11/20/2012 at 4:57pm - health - by thinner than you (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I spotted a girl I have a crush on while grocery shopping. Before I could go over and say hi, I noticed her walk over and stroke a few kitchen knives through plastic wrapping. Then I spotted her in the dog food section sniffing rawhide bones with her eyes closed, looking very happy. FML

#20165046
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (2781)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by grocerystalker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found my childhood diary stashed in a box in the attic. I flipped to the last page and noticed a little note written by my now deceased father. It read, "Well son, this diary proves that you're a whiny asshole - Dad." Thanks Dad, from beyond the grave. FML

#20161095
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22533) - you deserved it (3853)

On 11/12/2012 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)



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