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helen_ellexo

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helen_ellexo
  • Town/Country : Toronto, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 845
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About helen_ellexo : Wooo!

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helen_ellexo's favorite FMLs

Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML

#19159712
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (2829)

On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29547) - you deserved it (5824)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28809) - you deserved it (5573)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

#18703291
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (20627)

On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46332) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I called a friend of mine who was recently in an accident. She told me that the head trauma has caused her to lose all sense of smell and taste. To try and cheer her up, I suggested I take her out to lunch. FML

#18372646
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8279) - you deserved it (28214)

On 11/28/2011 at 1:30am - health - by MB - United States (Texas)

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

#18266824
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8386) - you deserved it (31086)

On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to deliver pizza to a nudist colony. I got an eyeful of more than I needed to see. FML

#18182863
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27046) - you deserved it (3355)

On 11/07/2011 at 9:24am - work - by Dlord357 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that when the power goes out at my house, my family thinks you can no longer flush the toilet. FML

#18109822
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25929) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/30/2011 at 7:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28620) - you deserved it (5646) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11254) - you deserved it (72233)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML

#17373083
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (10373)

On 08/05/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

#17365713
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9242) - you deserved it (69954)

On 08/04/2011 at 10:35am - misc - by jshi8 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sleeping like a baby on our living room couch. My older brother and his friends lit my slippers on fire. While I was wearing them. They even took a video. FML

#17261377
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26369) - you deserved it (2701)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:03am - misc - by Ep1cF4ce - United States (New Jersey)



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