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helen_ellexo

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

helen_ellexo

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3327
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About helen_ellexo : Wooo!

helen_ellexo's page activity

Visits<b>FatKitty</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 4:45am<b>mryeti</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 8:22am<b>tfriend3</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:14am<b>kirley</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 1:03am<b>Matt29</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 9:19am<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:09pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 9:57pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:49am<b>dancechick22</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 4:28pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 11:13am<b>DanJones1986</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 9:38pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:55am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:47am<b>ItsaBucsLife</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 8:12am<b>aj9319</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:12am<b>paravoz</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:55am<b>morgasshk</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 1:25am<b>Jamilal16</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 12:36am

Fucked!<b>IVXX_</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 5:58am<b>tchopper1969</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 8:46pm<b>kingzxcreed</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:26am

helen_ellexo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of helen_ellexo's badges

helen_ellexo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53771) - you deserved it (7881)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

#20742274
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58902) - you deserved it (22965)

On 06/23/2013 at 6:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42811) - you deserved it (6418)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

#20740333
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76581) - you deserved it (17374)

On 06/22/2013 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42424) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54109) - you deserved it (8480)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58665) - you deserved it (8211)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49823) - you deserved it (3065)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML

#20657738
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51535) - you deserved it (18300)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by peallow (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60663) - you deserved it (9164)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

#20637584
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72010) - you deserved it (8071)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by future brain bleach addict (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML

#20602754
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42965) - you deserved it (12539)

On 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by thanks, my fellow americans - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45276) - you deserved it (7346)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23141) - you deserved it (15070)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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