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helen_ellexo

Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 4:29am) | Search for a member

helen_ellexo

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1883
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

About helen_ellexo : Wooo!

helen_ellexo's page activity

Visits<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 12:18am<b>kingzxcreed</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 12:16pm<b>BILBOBAGGINS666</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 12:27am<b>Rizzen</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 12:41pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 4:31am<b>decimater</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 3:36pm<b>phatdaddy62</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 3:16am<b>GarrettP28</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:41am<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/12/2014 at 9:52pm<b>Gb1625</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 9:04pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 12:49am<b>sammybone96</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 11:01pm<b>melinal</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 9:03pm<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 7:03pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:26am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:36am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 6:14am<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 11/09/2013 at 12:49pm

Liked!<b>kingzxcreed</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 8:26am

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helen_ellexo's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41611) - you deserved it (4699)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went to my weekly AA meeting. It was a huge crowd and I was the guest speaker. Not 5 minutes into my speech, I was booed off stage and banned from further attendance because I accidentally wore a Jack Daniel's shirt. FML

#21217633
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21259) - you deserved it (49915)

On 07/22/2014 at 7:20pm - health - by dypshyyt - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59107) - you deserved it (4565)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47772) - you deserved it (11703)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, I nervously flirted with a very cute guy. Being a little overweight, I rarely think cute guys will go for me. This line of thinking was yet again correct when he casually pulled his sleeve up revealing a tattoo of a pinup girl with a "NO FAT CHICKS" sign below it. FML

#21138042
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55793) - you deserved it (7138)

On 05/12/2014 at 7:49pm - love - by nofatchicks (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, three different strangers stopped me on the street and asked if I was Brad Pitt. Either there's some kind of conspiracy going on, or I'm the world's ugliest woman. FML

#21137630
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51219) - you deserved it (5030)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:38am - misc - by Lookalike (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59917) - you deserved it (5136)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, my dad made me stick my gut out and walk around awkwardly, just so I'd look pregnant and let him get away with parking in an "expectant mothers" parking spot. FML

#21118067
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39101) - you deserved it (4400)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:21pm - misc - by Not-pregnant (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

#21116530
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25415) - you deserved it (43089)

On 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm - kids - by cantprovenothing (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

#21113538
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52075) - you deserved it (4707)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:08am - animals - by stupiddog (man) - United States (California)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41538) - you deserved it (6812)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I had to explain to my neighbours that I wasn't "watching porn" earlier, and that I was honestly just watching an episode of Game of Thrones. FML



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