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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (4095)
On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32161) - you deserved it (4804)
On 09/26/2010 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27537) - you deserved it (2971)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23239) - you deserved it (20150)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (7444)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, I had diarrhea in a Walmart bathroom for 15 minutes. Apparently, so did the guy in the stall next to me. He attempted to make small talk to pass the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (2217)
On 09/11/2010 at 2:59pm - misc - by wantontsu -
Today, I received an email from an ex who I haven't heard from in two years. Excited that it might be her asking if we could meet up, I opened it. It was a virus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22204) - you deserved it (6046)
On 09/09/2010 at 3:58pm - love - by kevdev (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, trying to be sexy I was sucking on my boyfriends fingers. I was really starting to turn him on, when I noticed something crunchy in my mouth. Turns out, he went digging for treasure up his nose earlier. I found the treasure in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38460) - you deserved it (9484)
On 09/06/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by Porkchop05 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while powerwashing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'll just wash it away before it stings me, I aimed the powerwasher nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as powerwashing your leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8327) - you deserved it (57717)
On 05/10/2009 at 4:39pm - work - by jokada (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a substitute teacher for my dance class. I noticed at one point, he took out a camera. The principle came in, everyone was going crazy, and the teacher was dragged out of the classroom. He was taking videos and pictures of us dancing. Turns out he was a registered sex offender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (80746) - you deserved it (2974)
On 04/20/2009 at 7:05pm - intimacy - by seriously (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45394) - you deserved it (372682)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28752) - you deserved it (339161)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50510) - you deserved it (283703)
On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)
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