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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I asked my mother if we were eating supper soon so I could take a nap. She said "no" so I went into my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, everybody was gone. My entire family of 6 went to Olive Garden while I was sleeping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21042) - you deserved it (3617)
On 09/11/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31237) - you deserved it (7592)
On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (1550)
On 09/10/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I bumped into a lady in the New Jersey airport. After I politely apologized she said, "Watch your step, asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19750) - you deserved it (3739)
On 09/09/2010 at 11:15pm - misc - by higagram (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28898) - you deserved it (3453)
On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat and still have small boobs. Great question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (6785)
On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43020) - you deserved it (6025)
Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (3775)
On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31318) - you deserved it (2208)
On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29455) - you deserved it (2533)
On 08/10/2010 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (2331)
On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32044) - you deserved it (4022)
On 08/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by rugs - United States (Iowa)
Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34445) - you deserved it (2993)
On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46792) - you deserved it (2961)
On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)
Today, while I was at work, I heard one of my employees laughing on the phone. I told him to shut up and get back to work. Turns out he was actually crying because his father had just died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7666) - you deserved it (50044)
On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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