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heitone

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heitone

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  • Number of visits : 3339
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heitone's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 7:16pm<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 08/10/2010 at 4:52pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/07/2010 at 10:18pm<b>CASSIDIZZLE95</b> - the 01/22/2010 at 2:56am<b>soccerchic64life</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 9:34pm

Liked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 12:16am

heitone's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

heitone's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage . I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off . FML

#13005397
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38246) - you deserved it (9659)

On 09/11/2010 at 3:25pm - intimacy - by gorillalove - United States (Texas)

Today... while I was driving... a police officer jumpd out from the sidewalk an into my lane. I slammd on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket fir ( obstructing traffic ). FML

#12995746
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30021) - you deserved it (2274)

On 09/10/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Yesterday, I bumpd into a lady in the New Jersey airport!! After I politely apologizd she said, "Watch your step, asshole." FML

#12984210
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24984) - you deserved it (4851)

On 09/09/2010 at 11:15pm - misc - by higagram (man) - United States (Tennessee)

2day my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping , she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny , causing a lot of people to stare in our drection. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

#12975254
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34624) - you deserved it (3942)

On 09/09/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, a little girl asked me how I could be so fat an still have small boobs. Great question. FML

#12966351
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34567) - you deserved it (7627)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:13pm - health - by Lauren - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I cummed ome to my wife crying!! Se ad mixed up our newborn twin grls and couldn't tell wic was wic!! I looked at te grls!! Nieter could I!! FML

#12953032
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52312) - you deserved it (7872)

On 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm - kids - by uselessdad - Singapore

TODAY, MAH FRIENDS WERE ALL SHARING SWEET THINGS THERE BOYFRIENDS HAD SHARED WITH THEM. AFTER HEARING "HE SAYS I LOOK PRETTY WITHOUT MAKEUP" OR "HE PROMISES WE'LL GET MARRIED ONE DAY", I REALIZED THAT THE ONLY COMPLIMENT HE'S GIVEN ME IS THAT MAH LAUGHTER "SOUNDS LIKE A SQURREL HAVING A SEIZURE." FML

#12552157
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (5002)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:03am - love - by 86145 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me an my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she is embarrassed of my real brother. FML

#12524990
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38469) - you deserved it (2692)

On 08/14/2010 at 7:23pm - love - by incestastic - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I wanted to spend the day cleaning mah room . My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home , so she yelled at me to go to her shop . At the shop , she yelled at me for not being any help . When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room . FML

#12439664
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35648) - you deserved it (3360)

On 08/10/2010 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question ( On which continent is Canada located? ) she responded ( Antarctica. ) If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML

#12438050
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (3331)

On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while moving, I askd my wife where she puttd the alcohol . She told me she threw it out, because it was old . It was Scotch . It's supposd to be old .

#12343499
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40560) - you deserved it (5358)

On 08/06/2010 at 12:40am - love - by rugs - United States (Iowa)

Today , I realized that in French , mah name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if mah dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

#12332692
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41011) - you deserved it (3466)

On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that my mom is having an affair... with her cousin. FML

#12322753
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55808) - you deserved it (4021)

On 08/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Drew - United States (Texas)

TODAY, WHILE I WAS AT WORK, I HEARD ONE OF MY EMPLOYEES LAUGHING ON THE PHONE. I TOLD HIM TO SHUT UP AND GET BACK TO WORK. TURNS OUT HE WAS ACTUALLY CRYING BECAUSE HIS FATHER HAD JUST DIED. FML

#12251529
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9725) - you deserved it (58003)

On 08/01/2010 at 8:34pm - work - by bloodymatzaball - United States

Today, I was staying over at boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's roomhile she is away at college. I left necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't ( steal it ). FML

#12187023
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33063) - you deserved it (3330)

On 07/29/2010 at 1:29pm - misc - by pandaboo (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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