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heitone

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heitone

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2826
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heitone's page activity

Visits<b>Trollz4daLULZ</b> - the 08/10/2010 at 4:52pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 02/07/2010 at 10:18pm<b>CASSIDIZZLE95</b> - the 01/22/2010 at 2:56am<b>soccerchic64life</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 9:34pm

heitone's FML badges

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heitone's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9349) - you deserved it (54243)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, on my way to school I dropped my money. As I turned to pick it up, I saw an old lady snatch it up. We began to argue when a police officer came over. Not only was I accused of being a disorderly thief, but that old lady just walked away with my lunch money for the entire week. FML

#13313177
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35642) - you deserved it (2586)

On 10/04/2010 at 2:37am - money - by melean (woman) - Trinidad and Tobago

Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. FML

#13312784
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29658) - you deserved it (4749)

On 10/04/2010 at 1:48am - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I boarded a trans-Atlantic flight by myself, and struck up a nice conversation with the passenger across the aisle. Before we even took off, the man in front of me unbuckled, stood to face me, and asked me to please shut the hell up. "It's a 9 hour flight, and you're VERY loud!" FML

#13275274
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10441) - you deserved it (31809)

On 10/01/2010 at 10:32am - misc - by northernlass - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (5378)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I found out that no one actually likes me as a friend. They only like me to get answers for school work. How did I find out? They were talking about it in front of me. Apparently I'm also invisible to them. FML

#13274150
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31417) - you deserved it (3270)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:31am - misc - by DepressedKid - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got the guts to call my dad for the first time in nine years. He said he "almost didn't remember" he "had another daughter." Another? FML

#13273584
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30024) - you deserved it (3247)

On 10/01/2010 at 5:09am - misc - by T - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML

#13212563
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31771) - you deserved it (5862)

On 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm - work - by lyssuhhhh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML

#13206157
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41588) - you deserved it (6510)

On 09/26/2010 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)

Today, I made exactly 400 flashcards of my vocab that I had to memorize. It took me over 3 hours to make them and hours to remember them. Proud of myself, I showed them to my friends. Then my friends notified me I had memorized the wrong section. FML

#13199866
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14684) - you deserved it (21631)

On 09/25/2010 at 8:15pm - misc - by educatttiiioonnn (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (3898)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, I let out the most horrific, loudest, and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class. Out of embarrassment, I tried to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling, but no one saw the funny side. I was given looks of horror, and avoided by everyone else for the rest of the class. FML

#13184282
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24727) - you deserved it (13253)

On 09/24/2010 at 4:21pm - health - by yogapants (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I recently graduated from highschool and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML

#13168401
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5737) - you deserved it (54261)

On 09/23/2010 at 10:17am - misc - by idiotwithaface - United States

Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML

#13158291
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41756) - you deserved it (3453)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44372) - you deserved it (9765)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)



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