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heitone

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heitone
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2170
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heitone's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

#13398040
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32467) - you deserved it (3380)

On 10/10/2010 at 9:38pm - intimacy - by jailbirdlove - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while on my run, I was attacked by my neighbor's new dog. It apparently didn't like me running past their house and broke free from its chain. I now have stitches and was just told that I'm probably being taken to court for the emotional distress I caused her and the dog. FML

#13397431
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30392) - you deserved it (2186)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad finally told me why he never paid child support to my mom when he was supposed to for the last ten years. His reason? Because I'm a girl and I wasn't that important. FML

#13397111
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29361) - you deserved it (3008)

On 10/10/2010 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom realized we have been sharing tooth brushes because they are similar colors. I told her it doesn't really matter since we're mother and daughter. She responded by saying that she loves me, but she has no idea where my mouth has been, and she doesn't want my diseases. Thanks mom. FML

#13383156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17261) - you deserved it (7400)

On 10/09/2010 at 8:47pm - health - by nikki (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend told me it wasn't working out and he was breaking up with me. The reason? I have the same first and last name as a very unpopular girl, and he gets embarrassed when people mistakenly assume he's going out with her. FML

#13379120
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29936) - you deserved it (2778)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

#13366496
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19018) - you deserved it (5411)

On 10/08/2010 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

#13366496
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19018) - you deserved it (5411)

On 10/08/2010 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

#13365582
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30548) - you deserved it (4809)

On 10/08/2010 at 12:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43368) - you deserved it (4704)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that my wife changed her status on Facebook to "widow" and a lot of strange guys commented saying stuff like "Finally." Last I checked, I'm not dead. FML

#13352571
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39232) - you deserved it (2650)

On 10/07/2010 at 6:10am - love - by Alex - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

#13350448
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (2495)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:21am - animals - by lindsey789 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

#13339681
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32900) - you deserved it (4961)

On 10/06/2010 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML

#13338032
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9959) - you deserved it (48970)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:37am - love - by crucets (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML

#13337964
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told the girl I've been seeing for a while about the strong feelings that I have for her and that I was falling in love. She told me my words made her realize what it felt like to be in love. My words were so powerful, in fact, that she ran right back into the arms of her ex boyfriend. FML

#13331586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33121) - you deserved it (3123)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)



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