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heitone

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heitone
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  • Number of visits : 1540
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heitone's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (991775) - you deserved it (78946)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104
860 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55621) - you deserved it (324485)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sexiled. So that my roommate and the boy who I confessed my love to two days before could hook up. FML

#3862
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19445) - you deserved it (1216)

On 01/30/2009 at 6:17pm - intimacy - by janie - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML

#2792
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33225) - you deserved it (6924)

On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I got bored on the toilet and decided to paint my nails. I ended up having to wait half an hour to wipe. FML

#2738
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5087) - you deserved it (47719)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:17pm - misc - by crazyvulva9216 - United States (California)

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

#1305
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (4233)

On 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm - health - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)



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