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heinous966

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heinous966

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1603
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About heinous966 : I'm slightly obsessed with Star Trek.

heinous966's page activity

Visits<b>mamallama22</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:39am<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:36pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:26pm<b>hoeslikedicks</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:32am<b>wtlg</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:41pm<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:50am<b>lindsay42711</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 9:00am<b>DarkSmoke591</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:09pm<b>slightlyins4ne</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 4:25pm<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 9:59am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 5:59pm<b>lelouch988</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 10:21am<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 1:35pm<b>Bradley_808</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:24pm<b>romaique</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 8:56am<b>madpack</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:39am<b>klune</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 12:41am<b>danNtara</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 11:34pm

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heinous966's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15-year-old son told me that he and his new girlfriend are deeply in love and are meant for each other. The "girlfriend" in question? My fiancé's 12-year old daughter. FML

#21143037
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47089) - you deserved it (5238)

On 05/17/2014 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

#21142253
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39281) - you deserved it (13484)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a wonderful dream where I got married to the perfect guy, then had the best sex of my life on a beautiful honeymoon. The only problem is that my "husband" was the snowman from Frozen, and that I got sad when I realized it was just a dream. FML

#21142020
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41827) - you deserved it (8921)

On 05/16/2014 at 5:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom showing her friends that she can deepthroat a banana. That's something I could've lived a long and happy life without seeing. FML

#21141912
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50970) - you deserved it (4984)

On 05/16/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by fuck florida (man) - United States (California)

Today, I actually uttered the words: "Those are my good sweatpants." FML

#21141634
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37238) - you deserved it (8680)

On 05/16/2014 at 8:16am - misc - by dieana (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was hosting my daughter's thirteenth birthday party. One parent decided to stay at my house, the only parent to do so. The entire night she critiqued every decision I made, from the films to the cake. When it was time to open presents, her kid was the only one without one. FML

#21141320
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46449) - you deserved it (3851)

On 05/15/2014 at 11:15pm - kids - by madbirthdaymomma (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31504) - you deserved it (50557)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58628) - you deserved it (5029)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I walked outside to see my boyfriend standing on my porch, looking confused. He explained to me that he had attached a prom proposal note to his pet rabbit, and let it inside my house to find me. We went looking for said rabbit, and found my dog halfway through eating it. FML

#21136990
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51832) - you deserved it (4831)

On 05/11/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by coming home early. He walked in on me sitting on the toilet, singing full volume to my cat as I took a crap. FML

#21135914
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41280) - you deserved it (12067)

On 05/10/2014 at 6:11pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

#21134608
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40110) - you deserved it (3445) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm - animals - by gvmfvr - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37432) - you deserved it (19869)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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