Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

heinous966

Offline (the 01/16/2015 at 8:35pm) | Search for a member

heinous966

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4840
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About heinous966 : I'm slightly obsessed with Star Trek.

heinous966's page activity

Visits<b>hullarms</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 12:56pm<b>CallMeSpaholla</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 2:04pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:54am<b>Rynardhell</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 8:30pm<b>Michaelsupset</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 5:37pm<b>alliepatches12</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 4:51pm<b>Apostolos_T</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 8:46am<b>getindoe69</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 4:03am<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 8:23am<b>minimanion</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:30pm<b>bethkelchner</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:48pm<b>jomar_19</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:52pm<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 12:08pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:28pm<b>StrangeNigga</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 10:39pm<b>facelick</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:57pm<b>jsb1426</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 12:45am<b>metalbullet</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:04pm

Fucked!<b>Michaelsupset</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 11:37pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:27pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:56pm<b>douglas423</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:47am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:32am

heinous966's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of heinous966's badges

heinous966's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37110) - you deserved it (22530)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my OCD reached a new high when I used a correction pen to white-out an eyelash which was photocopied onto every single page of my reading material. I did it because the eyelash was too distracting and I couldn't finish reading the article without the urge to rip it into shreds. FML

#21273246
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30960) - you deserved it (5055)

On 10/07/2014 at 11:49pm - misc - by waternixie (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, my boyfriend and I were roleplaying therapist and patient in bed. When I playfully asked him what bothered him, he told me his mother hates him and burst into tears. FML

#21269125
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44437) - you deserved it (5947)

On 10/01/2014 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by notatherapist - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

#21266131
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39163) - you deserved it (3546)

On 09/27/2014 at 12:22am - work - by heretoserve (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41063) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45578) - you deserved it (7169)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38291) - you deserved it (3793)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35479) - you deserved it (6010)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

#21251632
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44656) - you deserved it (3591)

On 09/04/2014 at 2:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

#21250852
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35611) - you deserved it (13916)

On 09/02/2014 at 10:41pm - misc - by akieferr - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43426) - you deserved it (8735)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML

#21244424
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38998) - you deserved it (13674)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:31pm - work - by Alisterine - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39409) - you deserved it (10946)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46984) - you deserved it (10307) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • RoSaCe's illustrated FML
  • Back to business! Yep, everyone is back from their vacation, unless you're a rich, childfree, lovin' life-type of person who doesn't go on holiday when everybody else does, and can do whatever they…

Friday 4 September 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: