Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

heinous966

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

heinous966

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1890
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 24 posted

About heinous966 : I'm slightly obsessed with Star Trek.

heinous966's page activity

Visits<b>LilTiki559</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:04am<b>Leo619</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:13pm<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 10:41pm<b>poncho55</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:18pm<b>douglas423</b> - the 09/15/2014 at 7:47pm<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:31am<b>minimanion</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 7:00pm<b>zombiecrayon173</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:58am<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:14am<b>EchoSerenity</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 6:50am<b>shade19</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 1:07pm<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:57am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:18pm<b>mamallama22</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 12:39am<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:36pm<b>hoeslikedicks</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:32am<b>wtlg</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 10:41pm<b>CODplayer4lyfe</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 12:50am

Liked!<b>douglas423</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 1:47am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:32am

heinous966's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of heinous966's badges

heinous966's favorite FMLs

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (12330)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (11489)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

#21216576
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38169) - you deserved it (4923)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46776) - you deserved it (6627)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40384) - you deserved it (6411)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52897) - you deserved it (7984)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55988) - you deserved it (5186) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

#21192954
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40109) - you deserved it (6467)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59827) - you deserved it (4621)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

#21189976
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39758) - you deserved it (4087)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56335) - you deserved it (2994)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57095) - you deserved it (7970)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42155) - you deserved it (5613)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42514) - you deserved it (4395)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: