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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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hecuva

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hecuva
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7799
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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hecuva's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML

#5754979 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (29093) - you deserved it (3104)

On 10/10/2009 at 8:07am - misc - by Nobody (man) - Singapore

Today, my husband blew all the candles on his birthday cake while I was taking a photo in front of him. I will probably never use cocoa powder to decorate a birthday cake anymore. FML

#5424868 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (6080) - you deserved it (24038)

On 09/23/2009 at 8:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML

#4950389 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (34262) - you deserved it (8089)

On 08/31/2009 at 9:54am - love - by crawfo (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

#4609824 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (8365) - you deserved it (53058)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (50085) - you deserved it (9422)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML

#4590136 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (44954) - you deserved it (3668)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was in the doctors they told me that me and my son needed a shot, I went first to show my son that it wouldnt hurt and shots were not something to be afraid of. When they gave me my shot I started crying. My four year old son handles pain better than his 29 year old mom. FML

#4548523 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (9466) - you deserved it (25369)

On 08/15/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by wimp (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 250 pound boyfriend was on top of me while we were making out. I actually passed out in the middle of it from not being able to breathe. FML

#4541941 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (38913) - you deserved it (15501)

On 08/15/2009 at 2:13am - love - by Squashed (woman) - United States

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (46821) - you deserved it (3401)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

#4390230 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (34702) - you deserved it (8252)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cousins and I were bored so we began talking about weird dreams we've had. My little cousin turns to me and says "I had a dream you were in a beauty contest. You lost badly". FML

#4248848 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (3263)

On 08/03/2009 at 3:37am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of random names she thought of, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087 (411)

I agree, your life sucks (56405) - you deserved it (11332)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

#4137553 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (41973) - you deserved it (14896)

On 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm - misc - by 4yrldkicker (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my son decided to come out of the closet by wearing a shirt that said "Mom, I'm gay" to the family reunion. FML

#4034101 (413)

I agree, your life sucks (32292) - you deserved it (16727)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:14pm - kids - by Mom (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking through a heavy door at work, so I reached behind me to catch it so it wouldn't slam shut. Little did I know that my boss was walking through right after me. Instead of catching the door, I caught a handful of his crotch. FML

#3982111 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (38340) - you deserved it (3607)

On 07/23/2009 at 4:23pm - work - by bossgroper (woman) - United States (Virginia)