About heckyesimgrand7 : I'd rather have an FML account then a facebook
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13375) - you deserved it (1381)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by calivianya (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23182) - you deserved it (1721)
On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19466) - you deserved it (2465)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the power went out in my area. My wife and I were bored so I lit some candles, poured some wine, and left little to her imagination about what my intent was. We cuddled a while and as I leaned in for a kiss the power came back on. She was more excited that the WiFi was back than anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17544) - you deserved it (1370)
On 07/26/2012 at 10:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14212) - you deserved it (31251)
On 07/10/2012 at 6:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I have four flights. I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarhea. Two flights in, I got my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41981) - you deserved it (1590)
Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (2003)
On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is she slept with my fiancé. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37897) - you deserved it (1740)
On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, I learned that if you're going to use vicks vapor rub for a cold, you should remember to wash your hands before changing your tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (10619)
On 06/15/2012 at 2:19am - health - by sickness_sucks - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22630) - you deserved it (3286)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19835) - you deserved it (1384)
Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7152) - you deserved it (21271)
On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9960) - you deserved it (31346)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had so much to do, I didn't know where to start. So I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9201) - you deserved it (29288)
On 06/01/2012 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Austria (Wien)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
