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heavenskiller

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heavenskiller

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 191
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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heavenskiller's page activity

Visits<b>msbear</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 2:29pm<b>naasatisfn</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 7:24am<b>ronski</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 6:19am

heavenskiller's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of heavenskiller's badges

heavenskiller's favorite FMLs

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

#20870528
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51546) - you deserved it (18763)

On 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a check up. He asked me if I was allergic to anything, to which I blurted out, "Cats." He gave me a weird look and said, "Don't worry, I won't give you cats." FML

#20865755
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39490) - you deserved it (6537)

On 09/03/2013 at 4:17am - health - by NoNotCats =^._.^= (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36541) - you deserved it (2582)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48257) - you deserved it (14400)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32818) - you deserved it (7036)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43853) - you deserved it (4245)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (2259)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother accidentally hit me in the throat. After I stopped coughing, choking, and feeling like I was going to die, he came back into my room, quietly said "I know your weakness," and left. FML

#20518354
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30298) - you deserved it (2972)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:28am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35774) - you deserved it (5171)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29213) - you deserved it (6008)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9719) - you deserved it (33236)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I started charging my phone in the car during a family road trip. The car recognized my iPhone as an MP3 player and started playing the audio from the porn video I watched before we left. Everybody heard. FML

#20443608
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10480) - you deserved it (38895)

On 01/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33024) - you deserved it (2975)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

#20437796
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37757) - you deserved it (4005)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10214) - you deserved it (40562)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)



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