About heavenleehope : Im An Stna Going To College To Get My Rn.... I Just Moved To Union SC..... So I Like Learning A New Place :D
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38796) - you deserved it (8795)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59794) - you deserved it (5846)
On 06/06/2009 at 7:18am - work - by foretwintie (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57484) - you deserved it (7513)
On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56517) - you deserved it (2674)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (48788)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51460) - you deserved it (5765)
On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (165965) - you deserved it (14455)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by honeymoondisaster (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75284) - you deserved it (35506)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139953) - you deserved it (32576)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50055) - you deserved it (5483)
On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)
Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41191) - you deserved it (5329)
On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)
Friday 24 May 2013
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