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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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heavenleehope

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heavenleehope
  • Town/Country : Union, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 December 1988 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 601
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About heavenleehope : Im An Stna Going To College To Get My Rn.... I Just Moved To Union SC..... So I Like Learning A New Place :D

heavenleehope's last visitors

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heavenleehope's favorite FMLs

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (22862) - you deserved it (1489)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

#5775465 (80)

I agree, your life sucks (28780) - you deserved it (1500)

On 10/11/2009 at 12:48pm - misc - by prickly (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370 (815)

I agree, your life sucks (657) - you deserved it (278786)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (40814) - you deserved it (6905)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was downtown with my boyfriend around Noon when we walked past a few guys who shouted out to me "You're the most beautiful girl we've seen all day". My boyfriend's response was "It's still early." FML

#4156114 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (37745) - you deserved it (2712)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by epicc1584 - United States (Maryland) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (52344) - you deserved it (2139)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I learned that my wife had an affair with another guy. She met him while we were on a trip in another state for marriage counseling. The reason we were in marriage counseling was because she had no desire for sex, and we had gone for two years without it. FML

#4079911 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (48926) - you deserved it (3162)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by imatool (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that by brother was selling pictures of me showering. For what? World of warcraft money. FML

#4073449 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (55620) - you deserved it (3059)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by Anon (woman) - Singapore

Today, I came out to my dad. He called me weak minded and said that he has never been more disappointed in me. I didn't come out as gay. I came out as a vegetarian. FML

#3737947 (405)

I agree, your life sucks (38725) - you deserved it (12048)

On 07/14/2009 at 2:58am - misc - by pkstarstorm (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up. The first thing was"Best positions for a small penis." FML

#3691268 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (71517) - you deserved it (9117)

On 07/12/2009 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by wtf (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (73321) - you deserved it (13616)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85957) - you deserved it (50908)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034 (457)

I agree, your life sucks (44928) - you deserved it (48045)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (69769) - you deserved it (14574)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

#2656270 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (37003) - you deserved it (8453)

On 06/06/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by imfromtexas02 (man) - United States (New York)