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heather2212

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heather2212

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 11 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 353
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About heather2212 : Oh. Hello there stalkers
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heather2212's FML badges

50 favourites

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heather2212's favorite FMLs

Today, while my mom was driving me to work, we drove past a lake with an old wooden dock. She stopped the car, pointed and said, "Some guy fucked me right there. I got a splinter in my butt, though, so we finished in his car." FML

#19443097
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33227) - you deserved it (2524)

On 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

#19438168
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21340) - you deserved it (2444)

On 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36203) - you deserved it (2980)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

#19406628
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11430) - you deserved it (27836)

On 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

#19405525
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (10969)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:53am - intimacy - by gordogs 25 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

#19336064
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19510) - you deserved it (4857)

On 03/23/2012 at 11:51pm - love - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML

#19320311
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9590) - you deserved it (59804)

On 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by brooke (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I called my wife from work to check in on her because she's eight months pregnant. She didn't answer. Instead she showed up at my work hysterically crying and screaming, "You don't love me because I'm a fat whale!" She then knocked everything off my desk. FML

#19255616
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (2559)

On 03/11/2012 at 3:36am - love - by Tristan Brantley - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23625) - you deserved it (3758)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42307) - you deserved it (36892)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friend told me how depressing it is that she hasn't had sex in two weeks. I haven't had sex in 3 years. FML

#18614402
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (4967)

On 12/26/2011 at 6:48am - intimacy - by Sally - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20939) - you deserved it (16094) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, my girlfriend who was planning on waiting until marriage for sex decided to have sex with me. It's been 4 hours and she hasn't stopped crying, praying and calling me the devil's temptation. FML

#16998038
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52293) - you deserved it (16455)

On 07/06/2011 at 7:26am - intimacy - by devilboy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my eight year old son is actually my nephew. FML

#16727755
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78926) - you deserved it (6503)

On 06/18/2011 at 11:34am - misc - by Ben - United States (California)

Today, on my way home from work, I decided to bring my pregnant wife a bouquet of roses to surprise her. Her response? "Why didn't you get me something useful, like chicken wings, instead?" FML

#16583514
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37647) - you deserved it (9252)

On 06/09/2011 at 7:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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