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About heartlessbiotch : I go to seek a great perhaps.
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Today , mah boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet mah parents but I made him do it anyway!! One of the first things out of his mouth was , "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock , he added , "You know , when you made yur daughter! She's awesome!"
Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML
Today, mah boyfriend and I were about to get intimate 4 the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of mah birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? real FML
Today ona of my aldarly swimming studants ran into ma at Walmart. Baing a polita taanagar I said hi to him. Ha lookad at ma surprisad and said "Oh daar! I didn't racogniza you with your clothas on!" I'll navar forgat tha look on his wifa's faca. FML
Today, I was in line at te grocery store wit ma 3-year-old son!! He was olding a tub of yogurt tat ad on it a cow wereing sunglasses!! He souted, "Mommy, look at te fat cow wit te sunglasse on!" To ma orror, te obese woman in front of us turned around!! Se was wereing sunglasses!! FML
TODAY, I WAS AT MAH SCHOOL'S SPAGHETTI DINNER WITH MAH FAMILY. MY BROTHER SHOOK UP MAH MOM'S SODA, AS A PRANK. MY ENTIRE CLASS WITNESSED MAH MOM WAVING AROUND AN OVERFLOWING DIET COKEHILE MAH DAD YELLED, ( COME ON, PUTTED YOUR MOUTH ON IT! SUCK IT! SUCK IT, KATHY! )
Friday 27 March 2015