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heartemopants

Offline (17 hours ago) | Search for a member

heartemopants

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 499
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About heartemopants : I love reading about people's sucky lives. It lets me feel better about my insane family!

Bubbles is my favorite word

heartemopants's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 3:56pm<b>DijahP</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 8:11am<b>rouslov</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:40pm<b>DaFoo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:35pm<b>Datechmaster</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 3:57am<b>wikuml</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 5:52am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 7:45am<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:18pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 2:17pm<b>Novasonic</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:59am<b>Shemp_5</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 10:02am<b>nevaryzarc</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:38am<b>SemperTimere</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 8:20am<b>swharley</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:49am<b>NodakN8V</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:40am<b>mouse1996</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:33am<b>moksha</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:26am<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 7:22am

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heartemopants's favorite FMLs

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38840) - you deserved it (3155)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML

#20187746
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22044) - you deserved it (1907)

On 12/02/2012 at 9:05am - misc - by Sam - United States (Indiana)

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14541) - you deserved it (22997)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16587) - you deserved it (1995)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

#20148752
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (2429)

On 11/05/2012 at 10:58am - misc - by Spoilicious - Singapore

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23685) - you deserved it (4165)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (1496)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend sat me down for a "confession". His confession consisted of him saying that "women are like a bag of chips," and that while you can love the smokey BBQ flavor, every once in a while you just have to go for some salt and vinegar. FML

#19612395
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25252) - you deserved it (2012)

On 05/12/2012 at 4:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49317) - you deserved it (46312)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19974) - you deserved it (39267)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

#17814910
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29028) - you deserved it (4470)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

#9407867
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35390) - you deserved it (5985)

On 03/26/2010 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by Haley. - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got an iPhone, I was excited and because I have a new number I wanted to mess with my girl a little. I started sending her provocative messages, and after 4 or 5 of them, I discovered I had entered her number wrong and was talking dirty to a man named Noah. FML

#5554431
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6506) - you deserved it (28589)

On 09/29/2009 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by pummy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

#5364487
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36666) - you deserved it (3338)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:01am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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