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heartemopants

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heartemopants

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 453
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About heartemopants : I love reading about people's sucky lives. It lets me feel better about my insane about my own family!

Bubbles is my favorite word

When I was 15 I asked for bubble wrap for Christmas

My sister is a teacher so she has allllways tries to teach me lessons

When I was 9 my sister took my diary and put it on display at my school in the library. The principle didnt believe it was a real diary so he wouldn't give it back. When my parents got involved I was the one to get in trouble for having secrets. Fml

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heartemopants's favorite FMLs

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45035) - you deserved it (5121)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I asked the girl I like if she had her eye on anyone, subtly hinting that I wanted to date her. I sat there while she confessed her love for her cousin. FML

#21130812
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47299) - you deserved it (5630)

On 05/04/2014 at 8:13pm - love - by Wowthanks - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

#20592767
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53119) - you deserved it (10224)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29716) - you deserved it (4016)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16274) - you deserved it (38456)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32496) - you deserved it (3951)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32901) - you deserved it (2087)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML

#20436663
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40935) - you deserved it (5804)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51548) - you deserved it (3973)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16250) - you deserved it (46049)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML

#20412240
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41754) - you deserved it (8167)

On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

#20398872
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32265) - you deserved it (2673)

On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

#20193017
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23254) - you deserved it (2320)

On 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after coming home from surgery, I discovered that the heating in my entire building had failed. I called my mom asking if I could come and stay with her for a few days. She told me to "think warm thoughts." FML

#20192758
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22170) - you deserved it (1423)

On 12/05/2012 at 6:27pm - money - by lonelyandcold (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11938) - you deserved it (28083)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)



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