Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hcollins1

Search for a member

hcollins1
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 491
  • Number of comments : 229
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About hcollins1 : .

hcollins1's last visitors

Amo1216mpkpmBulldozer36sdroze1389WhatsOpTicMrDonSalvetti

hcollins1's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of hcollins1's badges

hcollins1's favorite FMLs

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50630) - you deserved it (11274)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

#20998308
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34058) - you deserved it (3944)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got pulled over on the highway for going over the speed limit. The cop seemed nice, and I was sure he'd let me off with a warning, until my husband piped up with, "Didn't think you folks came out this far. What, the donut store got shut down or some shit?" I got the ticket. FML

#20975844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42238) - you deserved it (5632)

On 11/30/2013 at 2:21pm - money - by yulis (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that my husband told his mom that she can move in with us once his time in the army is over. We are moving into my house, and he didn't think it was important to run it by me first. FML

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49842) - you deserved it (4376)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52556) - you deserved it (2758)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36161) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52001) - you deserved it (4781)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24627) - you deserved it (33879)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (49612)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18085) - you deserved it (36100)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my psycho girlfriend tried to blackmail me into giving her money, threatening to show everyone the nude pictures I recently sent her. Except the pictures on her phone that she threatened me with weren't even of me. Nice to know I'm also being cheated on. FML

#20881137
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50778) - you deserved it (3933)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:09pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

#20881087
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42628) - you deserved it (4550)

On 09/14/2013 at 3:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: