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hazeloak334

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hazeloak334

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  • Number of visits : 170
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hazeloak334's page activity

Visits<b>awilliams44</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 3:34pm<b>ShadowWhovian</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 4:11pm

hazeloak334's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of hazeloak334's badges

hazeloak334's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents sat me down and told me that I'm adopted. I took it in stride, and reassured them that as far as I'm concerned, they're my true parents. That annoyed them. Apparently the whole thing was a prank for a YouTube video, which I ruined by not crying or freaking out. FML

#21247893
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37086) - you deserved it (2413)

On 08/29/2014 at 2:09pm - kids - by hannahka (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33799) - you deserved it (22468)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to explain to my father why it isn't a good idea to shove a metal knife into the toaster when trying to get at a small piece of toast. This man is 45-years-old and has a PhD. FML

Today, I was having coffee with an old friend I hadn't seen since university. I asked about her husband; she replied, "he died" and walked away. I was confused, so I stood up and took off after her. She reminded me I was at the funeral, and then slapped me in the face. FML

#21223464
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21360) - you deserved it (62158)

On 07/29/2014 at 3:58am - misc - by jayswizzle89 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

#21205559
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40734) - you deserved it (3480)

On 07/10/2014 at 11:32pm - misc - by look how totally not racist I am! - United States (California)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59804) - you deserved it (4622)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went on a date with the girl I like, to see The Fault In Our Stars. She didn't cry, but I did. Twice, hard. FML

#21187944
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46671) - you deserved it (12170)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by fredfredburger (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML

#21185172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40073) - you deserved it (4825)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56am - kids - by kennyjhynes (man) - United States

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56542) - you deserved it (7949)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, my nineteen year old daughter handed me a book on raising children and said "Maybe you'll do better next time." FML

#21169808
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46145) - you deserved it (14803)

On 06/10/2014 at 4:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47114) - you deserved it (5447)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

#21165062
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (6209)

On 06/06/2014 at 3:00pm - work - by confusing (man) - Zimbabwe

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61624) - you deserved it (5420)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42490) - you deserved it (3451)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML

#21117173
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43517) - you deserved it (3746)

On 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by reb (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)



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