haylburg

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Offline (the 03/31/2016 at 10:42pm)

haylburg

263Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 11840
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About haylburg : 🔒19/6/15🔒

haylburg's page activity

Visits<b>DJ_Pelco</b> - the 05/20/2016 at 10:31pm<b>Shayn_25</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 3:25am<b>muarif</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 3:16pm<b>seanyewest</b> - the 04/23/2016 at 10:19pm<b>worldclassrager</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 4:48am<b>x0ellison0x</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 3:59pm<b>sammy011</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 12:33am<b>firefighterbee</b> - the 03/17/2016 at 10:08pm<b>yorlanox</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:03am<b>kitkat818</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 1:35pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:53pm<b>PrinceOfBritain</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 2:35am<b>FMLUSER12345612</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 3:39pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 7:49pm<b>DA_JUDGE123</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 9:49pm<b>disasterlydeed</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Taymoo1515</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:55am<b>Cristian89</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 3:56pm

Fucked!<b>FMLUSER12345612</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 9:39pm<b>ghetto_child</b> - the 09/09/2015 at 5:05am<b>hallieee</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 6:09pm<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 6:08pm<b>losersanonymous</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 1:41pm<b>cristinewest</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:16am<b>Melanie_marii</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 10:17am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:34am<b>CyberSeeker</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 12:23am<b>BigBen86</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:37pm<b>Larry01</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:22pm<b>afrostybird</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 4:51pm<b>badcompanycali</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 5:28am<b>Motocrosskid87</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:55am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:21am<b>Shuff52</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:15pm<b>NephilimPie</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:04am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:35am

haylburg's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of haylburg's badges

haylburg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

by bitch / 10/07/2013 at 3:37am / Australia / Work

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I faceplanted. I was going to say "F*ck you" and "I will kill you". It came out as "I will f*ck you." He's still laughing. FML

by Ashley / 10/07/2013 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

by Sleepy head / 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

by TeddyBearKiller / 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

by WhyMe6495 / 10/06/2013 at 6:28pm / United States (New York) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

by UHM / 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm / United States / Love

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

by _/ | \_ / 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm / Singapore / Health

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

by D: / 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was reminded that while I have a nice waist, bum and boobs, I'm unspeakably ugly. I was walking down the street when a guy wolf-whistled from behind me, and when I turned around, he visibly recoiled in disgust. FML

by british_babe / 10/05/2013 at 1:51pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

by Anonymous / 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

by vcarder / 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

by haveahappyperiod / 10/04/2013 at 5:39am / Miscellaneous