Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

haylburg

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

haylburg

258Fucked!

haylburghaylburg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9250
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About haylburg : 🔒19/6/15🔒

haylburg's page activity

Visits<b>Sklinetobe88</b> - 2 hours ago<b>FMLUSER12345612</b> - 4 hours ago<b>Cristian89</b> - 7 hours ago<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - 8 hours ago<b>sammy011</b> - 8 hours ago<b>kitkat818</b> - 9 hours ago<b>BakenWake420</b> - 14 hours ago<b>cristinewest</b> - 15 hours ago<b>khoov19</b> - 15 hours ago<b>the_aspect</b> - 16 hours ago<b>Shayn_25</b> - yesterday at 2:12am<b>ManUtdforlife</b> - yesterday at 1:51am<b>Lct1196</b> - yesterday at 12:46am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - yesterday at 12:09am<b>Adamjohn82</b> - yesterday at 12:09am<b>10nachoman10</b> - yesterday at 10:56pm<b>timberguy</b> - yesterday at 10:22am<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 9:52am

Fucked!<b>cristinewest</b> - 9 hours ago<b>Melanie_marii</b> - yesterday at 10:17am<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 6:34am<b>CyberSeeker</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 12:23am<b>BigBen86</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 3:37pm<b>Larry01</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 10:22pm<b>afrostybird</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 4:51pm<b>badcompanycali</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 5:28am<b>Motocrosskid87</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 3:55am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 4:21am<b>Shuff52</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:15pm<b>NephilimPie</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 7:04am<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 12:35am<b>razoray9</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 4:06pm<b>Smurphy121</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 3:58pm<b>antart3</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:42pm<b>dirtbikeguy</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 6:10am<b>santosdecaprio</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 11:29pm

haylburg's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

See all of haylburg's badges

haylburg's favorite FMLs

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44962) - you deserved it (5531)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44973) - you deserved it (6680)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40029) - you deserved it (3776)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43807) - you deserved it (4789)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43190) - you deserved it (3462)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

#20926236
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46118) - you deserved it (5079)

On 10/19/2013 at 11:04am - misc - by sleepysophie (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

#20925665
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44713) - you deserved it (4667) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by Huedadaa - France (Picardie)

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56925) - you deserved it (5381)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40609) - you deserved it (3306)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28692) - you deserved it (41200)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, in calculus, our substitute teacher told me I was smart. Everybody in the class, including my friends, burst out laughing. FML

#20923824
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44405) - you deserved it (4489)

On 10/17/2013 at 9:43am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

#20923550
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45029) - you deserved it (4048)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:06am - health - by maxkeyftw (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44102) - you deserved it (9820)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47088) - you deserved it (6550)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

#20922441
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43297) - you deserved it (5316)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: