Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hawkeye912

Search for a member

hawkeye912
  • Town/Country : CT, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 2 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 226
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About hawkeye912 : Greetings stalker!
You have just begun to read this boring "about me" page" that we both know no one cares about. But you just keep on reading dont you? Well might as well get something out of it...as you can tell i like military things, i play soccer and fish for pretty much anything I can. I like to eat food and constantly do so....soooo......thats it....



bye......





quit following......






I mean it!

hawkeye912's last visitors

FreezexThatAsianGurlx

hawkeye912's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hawkeye912's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20860) - you deserved it (6956)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

#16540181
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23116) - you deserved it (5645)

On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

#14330238
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26082) - you deserved it (2895)

On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was speeding a little on the highway. I thought I saw a police car, so I slammed on my brakes, causing the person behind me to rear end me. The "police car" I saw was just a broken down car on the side of the road. FML

#14023247
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4466) - you deserved it (39178)

On 11/29/2010 at 12:34pm - misc - by fuckina (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 100 dollars on lingerie. I put it on, walk out to the living room, and tell my boyfriend to follow me into the bedroom. He says no, and then pretends to fall asleep. FML

#12090556
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29522) - you deserved it (5543)

On 07/24/2010 at 7:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous90 (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was attending a drug-free lecture at school. The speaker said, "There are many ways to quit smoking. You can try patches, gum, or even quitting cold turkey. Any questions?" I raised my hand, and she called on me. I asked, "How does cold turkey help?" And then I realized. FML

#6683898
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6575) - you deserved it (31475)

On 12/09/2009 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: