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havok87

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havok87

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2459
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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havok87's page activity

Visits<b>clau_zun</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 12:55am<b>izkiz</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 10:22am<b>cookiecake97</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:23am<b>Jabberwockyy</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:41am<b>anonchick44889</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 12:27am<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 6:23pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:55pm<b>Dusk_Shores</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 9:27am<b>noncom</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 11:47am<b>NagainaFier</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 10:52pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 3:53am<b>Werken247</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 12:52pm<b>Wedees</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 10:02am

havok87's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of havok87's badges

havok87's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49588) - you deserved it (6481)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32978) - you deserved it (6471)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30787) - you deserved it (5732)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53994) - you deserved it (4997)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30009) - you deserved it (6310)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20889) - you deserved it (27366)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

#20186785
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9262) - you deserved it (26987)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7160) - you deserved it (46246)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML

#20182185
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34749) - you deserved it (3205)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

#20181345
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45509) - you deserved it (3988)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38286) - you deserved it (12006)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29487) - you deserved it (2118)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28002) - you deserved it (1780)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8873) - you deserved it (36928)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

#20163281
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52185) - you deserved it (6515)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)



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