Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

haveyou000

Offline (the 10/23/2014 at 5:33am) | Search for a member

haveyou000

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 160
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

haveyou000's page activity

Visits<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:34pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:37am<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 6:51pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 3:23pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:26am<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:39am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 12:18am<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:31pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Alexeon</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 6:08pm<b>tmac815</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:47pm<b>thebob808</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 6:13pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 3:03pm<b>matt300</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 2:34pm

haveyou000's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of haveyou000's badges

haveyou000's favorite FMLs

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18962) - you deserved it (24931)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31438) - you deserved it (6437)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34476) - you deserved it (3196)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32031) - you deserved it (4482)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

#21271662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36105) - you deserved it (7241)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm - health - by PickYourselfUp (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the only reason I work 12-hour shifts and close at midnight every Saturday is because my boss doesn't like the fact that I have a boyfriend. FML

Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML

#21269829
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29732) - you deserved it (10247)

On 10/02/2014 at 9:55pm - work - by stewardess - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43227) - you deserved it (3971)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (393) - you deserved it (7912)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (3335)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (2613)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36509) - you deserved it (35449)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (7391)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37146) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: