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haveyou000

Offline (the 07/27/2015 at 3:37am) | Search for a member

haveyou000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 472
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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haveyou000's page activity

Visits<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:34pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:37am<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 6:51pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 3:23pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:26am<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:39am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 12:18am<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:31pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Alexeon</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 6:08pm<b>tmac815</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:47pm<b>thebob808</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 6:13pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 3:03pm<b>matt300</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 2:34pm

haveyou000's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of haveyou000's badges

haveyou000's favorite FMLs

Today, my laziness hit a new low when I tried closing my bedroom door using my mind. FML

#21446894
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10353) - you deserved it (18303)

On 07/25/2015 at 4:33am - misc - by elovan - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

#21445449
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16045) - you deserved it (23509)

On 07/22/2015 at 12:21pm - health - by Anonypiss (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the AC broke at work. I work in a hotel and every single guest asked me if I knew how hot it was in the lobby. It was 96 degrees for 7 hours. I definitely knew. FML

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24129) - you deserved it (2679)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I went on my first date in 6 months, to a Thai restaurant. We both got food poisoning and spent the entire evening alternately running to the bathroom while pretending that we were fine. FML

#21443781
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25613) - you deserved it (1825)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:29pm - intimacy - by padthaimeanoose - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (2796)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML

#21443162
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25966) - you deserved it (2988)

On 07/17/2015 at 7:04pm - misc - by AK-47 (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (2048)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24432) - you deserved it (4490)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

#21430208
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29591) - you deserved it (1261)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm - health - by ICanExplain - United States (California)

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

#21429802
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22018) - you deserved it (1746)

On 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm - animals - by Angel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20406) - you deserved it (12409)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26905) - you deserved it (2012)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML

#21428226
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29713) - you deserved it (3699)

On 06/18/2015 at 6:53pm - work - by fartypants - United States (Florida)



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