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Offline (the 08/31/2016 at 10:30pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1161
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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haveyou000's page activity

Visits<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 5:59pm<b>Unlovable_Me</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 11:02am<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 10:05am<b>madnessking</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:26pm<b>duduv2</b> - the 09/15/2016 at 12:32am<b>iamscott</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 3:05am<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 2:01pm<b>gary8082</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 2:44am<b>NicoleErin</b> - the 08/21/2016 at 12:13am<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 4:14pm<b>LA27</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 2:15pm<b>jpkizhak</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 11:32am<b>ErIcBoydstun</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 11:35pm<b>leslieshrader</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 10:50pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 9:52pm<b>Rintarok5</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 8:32pm<b>jgPepsi</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 4:30pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 5:26am

Fucked!<b>madnessking</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 8:36pm<b>SlowDownImaNoob</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 8:01pm<b>minimanion</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:52am<b>kunal222</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 12:46pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 5:54am<b>MitchRapp</b> - the 08/06/2016 at 9:26am<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 8:08pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 9:57am<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 12:05am<b>RealChewyPiano</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 8:03am<b>dno79</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 9:50pm<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 06/26/2016 at 8:28pm<b>lambda</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 7:11am<b>jairienfaite</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 5:41am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 05/27/2016 at 3:44am<b>MoDDbest</b> - the 05/05/2016 at 6:42am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:22pm<b>RA91</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 11:33pm

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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haveyou000's favorite FMLs

Today, I set my beer on the windowsill while I made space for it on the table. Suddenly, the wind knocked the window open. Into my beer. Into a box of expensive electronics. It was the last beer. FML

by sayno2mermaids / 08/03/2016 at 10:08pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my report card. My teacher gave me an F, and under class comments she gave me a U for unsatisfactory. So I got an F U from my teacher. FML

by Yocherrypicker / 07/28/2016 at 9:04pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend took me to get the abortion that we both agreed on. He was being so supportive through the whole thing. When it was all over I thanked him for coming. He replied, "Well that's what got us here in the first place!" He's still mad he can't tell anyone his joke. FML

by thatgirl / 06/18/2016 at 5:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I put in my two-week notice. My boss responded by saying, "Okie dokie" and hanging up. Guess they were glad to be rid of me. FML

by BoldMoveCotton / 06/15/2016 at 5:30pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, like every other day for the past two weeks, the strange cat that has adopted me inexplicably made its way into my house and curled up next to my head while I slept. I'm horribly allergic. FML

by anonymous / 06/06/2016 at 12:51pm / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I nearly got shitcanned for falling asleep on the job. The only reason I was so dead tired was because my idiot roommates decided to get high last night and loudly argue for hours about stupid crap like "Is it gay to screw a clone of yourself?" I got less than 2 hours of sleep because of them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/15/2016 at 11:18pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, my boss asked if I'd finished my work for the day. I've been binge-watching Game of Thrones this week, and I accidentally replied "Yes, Your Grace," British accent and all. He told me to stow my "sarcasm" or I'd be looking for a new job. FML

by Sir Davos of Shit Creek / 05/13/2016 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML

by dempasi / 05/06/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

by sorkin15 / 03/24/2016 at 5:06pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2016 at 1:55am / Money

Today, I was using the urinal at work when an old guy started using the one next to mine. All of a sudden, he used that Ghostbusters' line, "Cross the streams!", and tried to pee into my urinal. I had to wait 4 hours in pee-drenched shoes until my shift was over. FML

by NotASquirrel / 03/12/2016 at 12:29am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I suffered an uncontrollable sneezing attack. I have the runs. It wasn't exactly as bad as I'd have expected. Just a lot worse. FML

by all arsed out / 03/06/2016 at 11:50am / United Kingdom (Lincolnshire) / Health

Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML

by stupid drunk bitch / 02/24/2016 at 1:37pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML

by sweetie808 / 01/28/2016 at 3:39am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals

Today, while entering in my college building, I noticed that my right shoelace was untied and I tied it. I didn't realize that just in front of me was a metal beam until I hit my head hard on it and a loud, reverberating sound was produced. Many people saw what happened. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2016 at 9:24am / Philippines (Benguet) / Miscellaneous