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haveyou000

Offline (the 05/15/2015 at 4:53pm) | Search for a member

haveyou000

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 339
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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haveyou000's page activity

Visits<b>Schizomaniac</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 4:34pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 4:37am<b>nialls_princess1</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 6:51pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 3:23pm<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 4:13pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 9:26am<b>acidicthinking</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 2:39am<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 12:18am<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 8:33pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:31pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 7:01pm<b>Alexeon</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 6:08pm<b>tmac815</b> - the 03/12/2014 at 11:47pm<b>thebob808</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 6:13pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 3:03pm<b>matt300</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 2:34pm

haveyou000's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of haveyou000's badges

haveyou000's favorite FMLs

Today, I was being chased by the cops, not because I'm a criminal but because I thought the SUV with red and blue lights was an ambulance, not a police officer trying to pull me over. I kept weaving out of his way for 5 minutes before I finally figured it out, and got my first ever ticket. FML

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18156) - you deserved it (34284)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16543) - you deserved it (32496)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28410) - you deserved it (3340)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34052) - you deserved it (2823)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

#21391420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26794) - you deserved it (2868)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

#21390568
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26828) - you deserved it (2229)

On 04/09/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by fedupson - United States (California)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

#21389932
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28586) - you deserved it (1919)

On 04/08/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by rUs7up1d (man) - Guatemala (Guatemala)

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32398) - you deserved it (4733)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the DMV I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, setting my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML

#21386342
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38588) - you deserved it (2086)

On 04/02/2015 at 2:43am - health - by usadisvet (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you deserved it (2344)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (16324)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27854) - you deserved it (2777)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32880) - you deserved it (6575)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States



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