Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hater4lizife

Online | Search for a member

hater4lizife

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 July 1988 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 350
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About hater4lizife : i hate u... yes u right there; no no no, u... i hate u.

hater4lizife's page activity

Visits<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 2:54pm<b>stuckintime</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 6:25pm<b>valouette</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 2:59pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 2:21am<b>DarkSerebii</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 12:45am<b>r1r1h2</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 5:26pm<b>annmarie_124</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:02am<b>fractured_</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 7:25pm

Liked!<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:32pm

hater4lizife's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of hater4lizife's badges

hater4lizife's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a job interview at a café. The interviewer asked me my availability and I told her that I was fully flexible. She laughed and said, "Really? That's tragic." FML

#21345516
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7130) - you deserved it (638)

On 01/28/2015 at 8:09am - work - by tipmeover (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my dad and I were having a conversation about boneless chicken. He told me that they are raised boneless, going into detail, and I bought every word of it. Not until he started laughing did I realize how gullible I really am. I'm 22. FML

#21344889
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9692) - you deserved it (17843)

On 01/27/2015 at 12:43am - misc - by katrina2d (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

#21344628
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16917) - you deserved it (1739)

On 01/26/2015 at 5:19pm - misc - by Yellow an (man) - United States

Today, I found out that, due to the walls at my uni dorm being ridiculously thin, my entire flat overheard me lose my virginity. Spanking and all. FML

#21344108
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21250) - you deserved it (6777)

On 01/25/2015 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by Orgasmataz (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I bought an electric toothbrush because they're supposed to be a lot healthier than regular ones. My crazy religious mom immediately called me a whore and said she knew what I really wanted to use it for. So that's $80 in the trash. FML

#21343820
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (2143)

On 01/25/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34715) - you deserved it (6309)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while breast feeding my 7 month old before his nap, I hummed his favorite song as I rocked. He pulled away, stared at me, and cried til I shut up. FML

#21342394
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (4186)

On 01/22/2015 at 5:36pm - kids - by ameliaruth09 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my professor was doing roll-call. As usual, she didn't say my name because it's so close to the person before me. So to differentiate, she decided she would call the girl before me "the pretty one". FML

#21341880
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29202) - you deserved it (2103)

On 01/21/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by The Ugly One - United States

Today, while begging my wife for sex for once, she told me she didn't have time. I said it wouldn't take long. She said "I know." FML

#21341633
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28226) - you deserved it (8590)

On 01/21/2015 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by cuckolddreams - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I babysat an 11 year old kid while his parents ate out. As soon as they left, the kid asked me if I wanted to be on the sex offender's list. Before I could even process that, he told me to stay out of his way and he wouldn't accuse me of anything. FML

#21341483
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34106) - you deserved it (2153)

On 01/21/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML

#21341448
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30217) - you deserved it (2597)

On 01/21/2015 at 3:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

#21341383
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27898) - you deserved it (3377)

On 01/21/2015 at 12:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30452) - you deserved it (6360)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend when I began dozing off. I was then awoken by an explosive fart. It was me. FML

#21340117
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (4796)

On 01/19/2015 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

#21339526
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26274) - you deserved it (18535)

On 01/18/2015 at 11:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: