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Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night. There are eggs, coins and Oreos glued to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house are in the garden. And I'm naked and covered in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon. My parents return in an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9502) - you deserved it (42247)
Today, my mom took me to an AA meeting because she said I needed help. I have never tried alcohol in my life, and told them this. I was then harangued by the "instructor" because apparently one of the signs of alcoholism is denial. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26835) - you deserved it (1961)
On 07/21/2011 at 10:10am - health - by blah (man) - United States
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell and hit my head on the faucet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (3390)
On 07/19/2011 at 2:33am - health - by MAWZ (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (2809)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm - health - by deeenalynn - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I got robbed at the gas station I work at. After only getting $38 dollars out the register, the guy then steals my purse. It had my rent money in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (2937)
On 07/18/2011 at 6:07am - work - by jennlikewhoa - United States
Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23553) - you deserved it (2453)
On 07/18/2011 at 3:09am - misc - by fthislyfe (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, after spending over $1000 on plane tickets, I'm visiting my family for the first time in five years. Two hours after I arrived, everyone is screaming at each other and taking their rage out on me. They still ask why I never visit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (2336)
On 07/18/2011 at 1:09am - misc - by Kurochrome - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31324) - you deserved it (2428)
On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22868) - you deserved it (1631)
On 07/17/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by SonOfaSpy (man) - United States
Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17916) - you deserved it (6035)
On 07/17/2011 at 7:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my sister found out she contracted ringworm and scabies from her best friend's rescued kittens. The entire family now has to be treated to prevent it from spreading. There are 7 people in our house and none of us have health insurance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22967) - you deserved it (10096)
On 07/17/2011 at 6:57pm - health - by cderr (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20798) - you deserved it (7289)
On 07/17/2011 at 4:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (3750)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:59pm - health - by Username - United States
Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23354) - you deserved it (3750)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:59pm - health - by Username - United States
Today, an argument broke out between me, my girlfriend, and her sister. They were trying to convince me that not only were fairies real, but there were "scientific facts" that "prove" their existence. My girlfriend's 20 and her sister teaches primary school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23296) - you deserved it (3029)
On 07/17/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Fairymyass (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Monday 20 May 2013
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