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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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hate_my_mom

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hate_my_mom
  • Town/Country : Hong Kong, China
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 22 January 1990 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 1684
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

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hate_my_mom's favorite FMLs

Today, we got a speeding ticket in the mail with my drunk daughter's picture on it. She was waving at the camera. FML

#14584296 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (3562)

On 01/15/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

#14529858 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (4836) - you deserved it (41220)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML

#14500845 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (18806) - you deserved it (2748)

On 01/07/2011 at 8:31pm - work - by poop (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML

#14369439 (55)

I agree, your life sucks (8317) - you deserved it (14559)

On 12/28/2010 at 1:04pm - misc - by Good 2 have friends. - United States (New York)

Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML

#14324208 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (20092) - you deserved it (12415)

On 12/24/2010 at 2:36pm - love - by burnt38392 - United States (Georgia)

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

#14315930 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (17926) - you deserved it (1695)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by nick (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my roommate while she was changing clothes. She insisted on telling her boyfriend what had happened, because, "It wouldn't feel right" if she didn't. Her boyfriend is a MMA fighter/bodybuilder and has major jealousy issues. I'm screwed. FML

#14297992 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (30571) - you deserved it (2639)

On 12/22/2010 at 12:56pm - misc - by screwed (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was working in a restaurant. On the receipt under "tip" someone actually took the time to write out "$0.00." FML

#14288653 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you deserved it (4971)

On 12/21/2010 at 7:05pm - money - by ismerf19 -

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

#14277581 (100)

I agree, your life sucks (21966) - you deserved it (5185)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window down and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

#14228543 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (3983)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by carson28 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

#14190460 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (30547) - you deserved it (7490)

On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while playing soccer, I was kicked so hard in the shin that my tibia snapped. The snap was so loud that even the audience heard. As we waited for an ambulance, my mom started yelling for me to get off the field so the game could continue. FML

#14153684 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (31270) - you deserved it (1920)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at a gynecologist's appointment, I was privileged to have 7 co-ed nursing students stare at my vagina for 25 minutes as part of their training. At one point the doctor apologized for having to "open me up more than usual", but said she wanted everyone to get a good view. FML

#14153563 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (32443) - you deserved it (3362)

On 12/10/2010 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by RevolutionLove - United States

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

#14140366 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (13114) - you deserved it (26988)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next it. I flipped off the audience. FML

#14136007 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (7488) - you deserved it (12745)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)