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hassi158

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 2:19am) | Search for a member

hassi158

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 February 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 14276
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hassi158's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31075) - you deserved it (14740)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

#20972130
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41768) - you deserved it (2675)

On 11/27/2013 at 2:08am - animals - by Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - United States

Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML

#20972059
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51100) - you deserved it (2708)

On 11/27/2013 at 12:51am - love - by grantsidiots - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I arrived home after leaving for college in August. My dad figured that the most appropriate way to welcome me back was a loud, piercing fart right when I walked through the front door. FML

#20971993
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32982) - you deserved it (4867)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:42pm - misc - by squirts -

Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML

#20971859
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40220) - you deserved it (4090)

On 11/26/2013 at 10:11pm - work - by tortured (man) - United States

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38618) - you deserved it (4331)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ex's mom got a job as our new soccer coach and recognized me from our New Year's party last year. She made me, and me alone, do 10 laps around the field in the rain for breaking her son's heart. FML

#20971434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47726) - you deserved it (11680)

On 11/26/2013 at 3:00pm - love - by Amanda (woman) - United States

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45866) - you deserved it (4828)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36892) - you deserved it (9162)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

#20971273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37434) - you deserved it (3141)

On 11/26/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to pick up my little brother from his friend's house. When I got there, he ran off screaming that he didn't know me. His friend's parents believed him. FML

#20971159
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41777) - you deserved it (2868)

On 11/26/2013 at 8:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a fetish for cats. I think I'm going to have to meow before we do anything together. FML

#20971142
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41317) - you deserved it (5171)

On 11/26/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by HaedLei (woman) - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

#20970980
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40594) - you deserved it (7923)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:50am - love - by xHoho (man) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I logged onto Facebook to see one of my "friends" had used my account to post a coming-out story. It had comments on it such as "I knew it!" "Finally." and "That explains so much." FML

#20970954
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40423) - you deserved it (4457)

On 11/26/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by Thanks guys - United States (Texas)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41899) - you deserved it (5204)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



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