Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hassi158

Offline (24 hours ago) | Search for a member

hassi158

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : South Gate, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 19 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 30820
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hassi158's page activity

Visits<b>reshikrom</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 7:04pm<b>facelick</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 2:32pm

hassi158's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of hassi158's badges

hassi158's favorite FMLs

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23643) - you deserved it (34679)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, same as every other night, I sat in my car outside my home, just to avoid going inside. I live alone. FML

Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML

#21267748
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39934) - you deserved it (3548)

On 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML

#21267650
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45106) - you deserved it (4293)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:48pm - health - by impure - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He told me one of my lights was busted, and I couldn't help but point out that one of his was out too. He said, "Thanks, I'll get that fixed right away." then gave me a ticket. FML

#21267623
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36909) - you deserved it (5722)

On 09/29/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my insomnia wins. I'm too wired and awake to sleep, but too stoned on my sleeping pills to get up and do something productive. FML

#21267554
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32246) - you deserved it (4017)

On 09/29/2014 at 8:06am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

#21267417
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31959) - you deserved it (5418)

On 09/29/2014 at 12:31am - misc - by SystemofaBlink41 (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

#21267339
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34740) - you deserved it (3959)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:00pm - kids - by Anonymoose - United States (Indiana)

Today, I waited for over an hour in a park for a date who didn't show up. I finally left because someone came up to me and accused me of creeping on their kids. FML

#21267321
65 comments

Today, I'm on the last day of my honeymoon in Ireland. My wife and I have an amazing hotel room and a huge bed. She's passed out drunk and if I even touch her, she needs the bucket next to our bed. So much for finishing our week on a "fun" note. FML

#21267195
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (743) - you deserved it (4532)

On 09/28/2014 at 6:55pm - love - by superman21 - Ireland

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33407) - you deserved it (3944)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

#21266998
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you deserved it (5631)

On 09/28/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by jquaw - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made up an ingenious plan to finally hook up with the guy I really like at a party. Well, the plan itself worked great. Too bad I got so drunk that I used it on the wrong person. FML

#21266978
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23696) - you deserved it (33021)

On 09/28/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52797) - you deserved it (4523)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: