hashtaghipster69

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hashtaghipster69

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 265
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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hashtaghipster69's page activity

Visits<b>Druu</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 11:13pm

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hashtaghipster69's favorite FMLs

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/11/2015 at 2:59am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML

by fingwhore / 07/27/2014 at 1:12pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

by Rhine / 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm / Barbados (Saint Michael) / Love

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

by youmothERFUCKErs / 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML

Today, I had the most exciting dream of my life. I was dreaming about catching a shiny charmander. I'm 15, and instead of dreaming of girls, I'm dreaming of Pokémon. FML

by wispywee / 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML

by gatorhead / 09/09/2010 at 2:05pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

by Anonymous / 06/15/2009 at 7:23am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

by misc / 02/10/2009 at 6:06pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy