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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61653) - you deserved it (3611)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9484) - you deserved it (37348)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by paranoid (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45207) - you deserved it (4115)
On 06/05/2009 at 10:14pm - love - by Baby_girl (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML
I agree, your life sucks (67627) - you deserved it (3430)
On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at a bar. A fat guy looks at me for a while and sits down next to me. He turns and I expect that he'll hit on me. He then buttons down his shirt, presses his man boobs together and say to his friends “Look, I’ve got bigger tits than than the girl next to me!" His friends agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49747) - you deserved it (3837)
On 06/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn)
Today, while laying out, I kept feeling something misty, like a spray bottle. Curious as to what it was since it kept coming, I looked up, only to see the painters were peeing over the side of the house, and the heavy breeze was turning their piss into a refreshing mist for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50334) - you deserved it (2578)
On 06/05/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by layout (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I was working as a waitress at a wedding. I was trying to clear the tables as quickly as possible and decided to place a half bowl of soup on top of the pile of plates I was carrying. As I was hurrying back to the kitchen I tripped and spilt the soup all over the bride's ivory dress. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40495) - you deserved it (17661)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:57pm - work - by badwaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (Newport)
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77130) - you deserved it (4860)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was with my 14 year old son when we saw a baby sparrow being attacked by four or five blackbirds. We rushed up, waving our arms and scared away the much bigger attackers. The baby sparrow ran toward us for protection, then went past both of us and ran straight down a storm sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42001) - you deserved it (2945)
On 06/05/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Pierce (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16306) - you deserved it (39667)
On 06/04/2009 at 10:09am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85243) - you deserved it (4533)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes she did! She's lying I saw her drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85243) - you deserved it (4533)
On 06/04/2009 at 8:17am - kids - by Kimmiko (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, my dad asked me to move a potted plant from one side of the yard to the other. It looked like a very heavy pot, so I heaved it up with all my might. Turns out it was one of those heavy-looking ones that are actually light plastic. I fell over backwards and dumped dirt into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (16147)
On 06/04/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by ether10 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I volunteered for a school play. During rehearsal, I was playing the part of an average housewife. The teacher asked for a volunteer to be my husband. Thirty seconds go by and no one raises their hand. The teacher ended up playing the part because no else wanted to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10777) - you deserved it (1324)
On 06/04/2009 at 1:33am - love - by xXitslolaXX - United States (California)
Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35951) - you deserved it (4534)
On 06/03/2009 at 11:36pm - misc - by j (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
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