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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, a guy from my school came into my work. I knew him but forgot his name. I didn't want to be rude and ask for his name when he probably expected me to know it. So, thinking I was clever, I said "How do you spell your name again?". His name was Rob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10348) - you deserved it (38652)
On 06/09/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by purrtygirl (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39235) - you deserved it (6070)
On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I finally got my nametag. I had been using other people's names like Maria and Caie for a week, so I was happy to be called my own name. I put it on and got to work. Ten minutes later, I was called into the office. I got laid off. I got to wear my nametag for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38613) - you deserved it (2382)
On 06/08/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by nametag (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8464) - you deserved it (41329)
On 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm - work - by Chipper (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my two-and-a-half year anniversary with my girlfriend, a small but noble occasion. She surprised me with an invention of hers, a plate of triple-chocolate double-mint cookies topped with Andes mints. I surprised her by crashing her new Mustang into a cement divider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13479) - you deserved it (33980)
On 06/08/2009 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had just gotten a milkshake with some friends. We were about to drive past my ex's house, so I though it would be funny to throw the milkshake in his yard. Turns out, if your going 50mph and try to throw a shake out the window, it comes right back at you. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4851) - you deserved it (11181)
On 06/08/2009 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9756) - you deserved it (55324)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (95084)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my friend was complaining about how fat she was. To make her feel better I said, "Psh, you're not fat! In fact we're about the same weight!" She looked at me for a second, then burst into tears sobbing, "I'm fat! I'm fat!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48150) - you deserved it (7499)
On 06/06/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by fatty - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (56420) - you deserved it (5097)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48738) - you deserved it (9040)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was shopping at Shoppers Drug Mart with my mom. As we pulled up to the cashier, I noticed it was a really hot girl from my school. Trying to be cool, I told my mom that I'll be paying for the purchases. My debit card was denied. My mom had to pay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8420) - you deserved it (41196)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:23pm - misc - by Goki (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55369) - you deserved it (3762)
On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53801) - you deserved it (6062)
On 06/06/2009 at 9:17am - misc - by graduate - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was at Target trying on swimsuits. I tried on a medium bottom and was so excited because it fit perfectly even though I've gained a few pounds. My self-esteem was at an all-time high until my mom told me I could never fit into a medium. I rechecked the tag. It was an extra large. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43761) - you deserved it (15743)
On 06/06/2009 at 2:48am - health - by XLhottie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Friday 24 May 2013
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