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happyface92

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happyface92

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  • Number of visits : 1607
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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happyface92's favorite FMLs

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML

#17131113
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (5492)

On 07/16/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend fingered me. He never cuts his nails. It felt like I was getting intimate with Wolverine. FML

#17107547
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49263) - you deserved it (14564)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

#16860122
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29670) - you deserved it (4862)

On 06/26/2011 at 1:39am - animals - by animallover (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, during my honeymoon, my wife and I finally went scuba-diving. My nose was too big to fit in the face goggles, so I couldn't go. My wife went without me anyway. FML

#16838274
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34731) - you deserved it (7616)

On 06/24/2011 at 7:04pm - love - by pinocchio - United States

Today, I was in the elevator with my boss, when I let rip the vilest, most horrifying fart of my life as we left the first floor. We stood in silence as the elevator slowly ascended to the 21st floor, leaving us to marinate in the fumes. FML

#16516164
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16622) - you deserved it (41437)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:45pm - misc - by - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML

#16467969
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31241) - you deserved it (9596)

On 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm - health - by raebelle - United States

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37943) - you deserved it (5731)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

#16168525
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36145) - you deserved it (12816)

On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States

Today, I was driving along when the car in front of me ran over an animal. I only realised this when a chunk of flesh and blood landed on my windscreen. I put my wipers on to get rid of it but instead it got stuck underneath the wipers and smeared all over the screen. FML

#16154731
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29626) - you deserved it (6104)

On 05/13/2011 at 4:13am - misc - by Username -

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33651) - you deserved it (14864)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

#15961473
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37164) - you deserved it (8897)

On 04/28/2011 at 9:16am - love - by nuttedthefout -

Today, I finally got the courage to say to my boyfriend that I feel invisible and ignored. To this he said 'You aren't invisible, I mean, look at that nose.' FML

#15365098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36530) - you deserved it (7171)

On 03/18/2011 at 8:36am - love - by anon -

Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML

#15321178
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54178) - you deserved it (5168)

On 03/15/2011 at 11:50am - love - by notthedad (man) - China

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

#15184059
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (23432)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

#14924487
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7379) - you deserved it (57103)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:37pm - misc - by acab93 - United States (Texas)



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