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happyface92

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happyface92

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  • Number of visits : 1456
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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happyface92's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45037) - you deserved it (7017)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30177) - you deserved it (5250)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34330) - you deserved it (6024)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving and singing, I noticed a large fly inside my car. I stopped singing so it wouldn't fly into my mouth. That didn't stop it from flying up my nose, causing me to swerve and drive into a ditch. FML

#18262782
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (4090)

On 11/16/2011 at 8:47am - misc - by jdancerchick - United States

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35884) - you deserved it (18852)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

#18244771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23400) - you deserved it (3800)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:23am - misc - by jocksblow - United States

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15084) - you deserved it (52625)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

#18231005
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10632) - you deserved it (38994)

On 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm - work - by TTR (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the handle in the port-a-potty broke off, with me inside. FML

#18230323
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26864) - you deserved it (2432)

On 11/12/2011 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML

#18208343
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (5433)

On 11/10/2011 at 6:16am - misc - by Sack - United Kingdom

Today, it was so cold that I had to put slippers over my slippers. FML

#18207765
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22069) - you deserved it (5540)

On 11/10/2011 at 2:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML

#18205995
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25883) - you deserved it (10157)

On 11/09/2011 at 10:15pm - health - by stinkypants - India

Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML

#18203488
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42367) - you deserved it (5068)

On 11/09/2011 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Great... (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

#18202922
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29826) - you deserved it (22198)

On 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

#18198987
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36734) - you deserved it (3980)

On 11/09/2011 at 12:59am - love - by kdeeeceee - United States



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