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happyface92

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happyface92

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  • Number of visits : 1476
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happyface92's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

#18501609
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25484) - you deserved it (15909)

On 12/13/2011 at 7:26am - love - by reallyman__639 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (87492)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

#18465913
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (87492)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States

Today, I added "a road sign" to my ever-growing list of 'Things which have hit my car as a result of the wind.' FML

#18465867
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20834) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/09/2011 at 1:05am - misc - by it'sabitwindy - United States

Today, I walked out of the store, car keys in hand, only to discover my car was missing. After a frantic search, I started to hyperventilate and a nearly had a full-blown panic attack. Then I remembered I walked to the store. I am an idiot. FML

#18460733
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (29149)

On 12/08/2011 at 2:58pm - misc - by picklemonger - Canada

Today, while standing completely still at Walmart, I was hit by a drunk man on a Jazzy Scooter. He laughed, said it was an accident, gunned the scooter and took out two more people. FML

#18459479
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23547) - you deserved it (2306)

On 12/08/2011 at 9:48am - misc - by skidmark (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

#18457240
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21054) - you deserved it (3538)

On 12/07/2011 at 11:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML

#18456700
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28224) - you deserved it (5995)

On 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm - health - by skrewedguy (man) - United States

Today, some friends and I were pulled over on our way back from a party. We'd had a few drinks, so we tried to play it cool just in case we were over the limit. The cop didn't seem to want to breathalyze us, until my really high friend in the back seat said, "These are not the droids you are looking for." FML

#18451653
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13001) - you deserved it (41247)

On 12/07/2011 at 9:46am - misc - by Notadrinkanddriveidiot - United States

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9900) - you deserved it (67249)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after having spent days working on it, I finished off a really elaborate seasonal greetings card for my boss. When I gave it to him, he took one look at it, flicked it in his trash can and said, "Fuck off, Steve." So much for a Christmas bonus. FML

#18438715
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18660) - you deserved it (17302)

On 12/05/2011 at 7:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML

#18433688
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (8426)

On 12/05/2011 at 1:13am - health - by lol (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33395) - you deserved it (5418)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband asked me if I was really pregnant or if I was just smuggling cheeseburgers. I'm now referred to as "the hamburgler." I'm only 5 months pregnant. FML

#18393059
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (3423)

On 11/30/2011 at 9:57am - love - by preggers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML

#18388917
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5722) - you deserved it (64753)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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