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happyface92

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happyface92

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  • Number of visits : 1384
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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50 favourites

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happyface92's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (134554) - you deserved it (20211)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

#221148
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64965) - you deserved it (3724)

On 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm - kids - by SadDad - United States (Florida)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, while changing my tampon in the stall of my high school's bathroom, I lost control of the plastic applicator. The blood-covered apparatus shot out like a rocket underneath the stall door. For a moment I thought no one noticed, then the screaming began. FML

#99894
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49113) - you deserved it (5181)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - misc - by isuckatlife (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

#94383
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9673) - you deserved it (51271)

On 02/21/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

#70885
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52953) - you deserved it (8401)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fell down the stairs twice. I fell from the top, stopped in the middle, stood up, stepped down one more step, tripped, and fell down the rest of the stairs. FML

#4121
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28756) - you deserved it (4916)

On 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Lars - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48557) - you deserved it (6623)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

#552
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51456) - you deserved it (6252)

On 12/19/2008 at 11:05am - intimacy - by chicochico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I bought my new electric razor. I tried it, and washed it. I started to shake it, in order to get rid of the water. It was pretty slippy, and it exploded on the floor of my bathroom. The warranty doesn't cover this, I guess. FML

#377
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17444) - you deserved it (7345)

On 11/23/2008 at 11:44am - money - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I farted A LOT during my exam, all silent so I figured I should be OK. Then I looked around and everybody was suffocating and giving me sly looks. I am now known to everyone in the department as SuperFart. FML

#105
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14926) - you deserved it (38008)

On 10/27/2008 at 8:13pm - misc - by Hth - United States (Delaware)



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