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Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter filmsho I've had a crush on since I was about ten!! I trid to play it cool, and pretend I didn't knowho he was!! Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune!! FML
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of mah breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
Today , I Was Riding My Bike Ome From Te Store . Wanting To Impress Some Passers-by , I Tried To Do A Trick On A Sarp Turn . I It A Pole Wit My Balls . As I Was Lying On Te Ground In Agony , A Guy Pulled Over , Took A Picture , And Took Off Lauging . FML
Today, I was at mah class's band concert . Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a grl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen . I said, ( There, now your mom can see u play! ) She responded with, ( My mom's blind . ) FML
Today, After Working Out At The Gym, I Went To Grab My Bag, And Realizd That My Phone Was Missing . Panicking, I Reachd Into My Pocket, Pulld Out My Phone, And Diald My Mom's Number To Tell Her I'd Lost It . It Took Me Until The Last Ring To Realize What I Was Doing . FML
Today I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew fir him with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked along with the caption "longest one yet." FML
Today, my elderly neighbor had askd me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrivd at her house at 7:30 as agred, and she appered to have forgotten who I was. She startd lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interestd in what I was selling. FML
Today , mah friends confronted me an told me that they no longer want to visit mah house because mah dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heret to tell them that the smell is actually mah parents,ho have been trying to ( save water ) by only showering once a fortnight. FML
Yesterday, I was holding the door open fir a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked y she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the ( No MSG ) sign meant u couldn't text inside. FML
Friday 27 March 2015