About hand1234 : Hey all you people my name is Kel I love One Direction ( Nialls my fav along with Liam) Katy Perry and Rascal Flats. I love to eat play guitar dance and practice on my drawing skills but yea this me thanks
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hand1234's favorite FMLs
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
by yikes / 03/02/2013 at 10:32am / United States / Animals
by Ugh / 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by crétin-crédule / 02/26/2013 at 12:02am / France (Limousin) / Love
Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML
by Sammy / 02/25/2013 at 2:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Doggotmytongue / 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by DogLover / 02/06/2013 at 8:59am / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML
by Stunned / 02/04/2013 at 4:15am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
by What? / 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm / Australia / Animals
by AnonCat / 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals
Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML
by Cold / 12/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML
by piemasterzim / 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm / Canada / Kids
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
by Z / 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm / Australia / Love
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
by me / 11/11/2012 at 11:30pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Andrew / 10/30/2012 at 2:08am / United States (Washington) / Love
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…