Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About hamstersFOreal : wassup earthlings im paige
my hobbies r sitting in my snuggie drinkin penguins
i'd be alot happier right now if i had a bagel...
my goal is to be the ambassador of llamas
i can stick 2 icecubes up one nostril dont ask me to show u take my word for it *wink wink*
seriously wheres that bagel??
my mum says hi
i am addicted to harry potter and Mr. filch's cat, Ms. Norris. OMFG that cat is fuckin sexii... confused? ya me too
enough said ..... i think
yea thats enough...
do u like green eggs and ham?
....... nom nom nom
awwww poop ... i wish to be a washing machine...
i see fish and flying flowers in the sky when my mother pees.
AVADA KEDRAVA ... well thats what u get for stayin' on my page nigga. now get the hell off b4 chuck norris decides to kick u off texas... thats right man, chuck norris can do that AND NOW UR DEEEEAD
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send" that I had sent them to the taxi driver (my last phone call) who had just dropped me off at my house. He won't stop calling my phone now. FML
Monday 3 August 2015