Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About hamstersFOreal : wassup earthlings im paige
my hobbies r sitting in my snuggie drinkin penguins
i'd be alot happier right now if i had a bagel...
my goal is to be the ambassador of llamas
i can stick 2 icecubes up one nostril dont ask me to show u take my word for it *wink wink*
seriously wheres that bagel??
my mum says hi
i am addicted to harry potter and Mr. filch's cat, Ms. Norris. OMFG that cat is fuckin sexii... confused? ya me too
enough said ..... i think
yea thats enough...
do u like green eggs and ham?
....... nom nom nom
awwww poop ... i wish to be a washing machine...
i see fish and flying flowers in the sky when my mother pees.
AVADA KEDRAVA ... well thats what u get for stayin' on my page nigga. now get the hell off b4 chuck norris decides to kick u off texas... thats right man, chuck norris can do that AND NOW UR DEEEEAD
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
Today, I went to a water park, and the fee to get in was $39.95. Once I got in I was really thirsty, so I got a soda and then I hear over the intercom that the park is closing due to a clog in the cleaning system. I paid 43.67 for a soda. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Today, I was on the arm of my couch trying to grab something from the bookshelf, and my boyfriend was below me. I asked, "So, would you catch me if I fell?" He looked back at me, paused for a moment before saying, "How much do you weigh again?" FML
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
Today, someone gave me 13 dollar bills. I rejected one because I'm very superstitious about the unlucky 13. Later, I waited half an hour in the car for someone to bring me exactly 1 dollar because I did not have enough for the parking fee. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan. So I bought her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML
Today, I took a picture of my boobs and sent it to my boyfriend, only to realize after I hit "send" that I had sent them to the taxi driver (my last phone call) who had just dropped me off at my house. He won't stop calling my phone now. FML
Thursday 23 April 2015