hamrtym

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Offline (the 05/16/2016 at 2:23am)

hamrtym

5Fucked!

hamrtymhamrtym
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 October 1987 (28 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 854
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About hamrtym : I play basketball professionally in my dreams.
I am a entrepreneur that works for corporate America
I tried to eat soup with a fork and gave up after 3 hours
I hold the shifter when I drive my automatic car fast
I am, the least interesting man in the world

hamrtym's page activity

Visits<b>NH_Freelancer</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 9:57pm<b>supermarxiste75</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 5:20pm<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 2:40pm<b>Nai_Wiley</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:06am<b>jeromemweil</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 12:03am<b>whatthefheck</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:42pm<b>funneh1</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 2:58pm<b>Tmlord</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 1:33am<b>kimeatszombies</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 11:25pm<b>Tori_belle</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 6:31am<b>Kalipso_o</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 11:35am<b>Kyra1</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 1:10am<b>Momankaka</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:49pm<b>itsnothin</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:26pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 11:17pm<b>Aky0n</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 9:01pm<b>CaptainSmith28</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:47pm<b>l3g1t1matp1mp3n</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:47pm

Fucked!<b>supermarxiste75</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 11:20pm<b>Kalipso_o</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 5:37pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 1:20am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 3:27pm<b>____gerard____</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 5:02am

hamrtym's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of hamrtym's badges

hamrtym's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

by brokeforever / 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm / Latvia (Riga) / Animals

Today, I got to listen to my boss lecture me about professional dress and subtly insinuate that my being on the heavier side top-wise with all the men in the office could be a problem. I've worn turtle necks for the whole two months I've been working there. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2015 at 6:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

by FreshDonuts / 02/28/2015 at 12:03am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

by Mkimmi / 02/12/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boss refused to give me vacation time for my wedding and honeymoon because she didn't have a honeymoon and because of that apparently neither should I. FML

by bingalingading / 02/11/2015 at 8:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2015 at 11:06am / Netherlands / Love

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2015 at 11:06am / Netherlands / Love

Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML

by CalledOut / 02/02/2015 at 1:41am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

by imsorry / 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my wife started a 24 hour urine collection as directed by the doctor for her pregnancy. She has to collect the urine in a gallon jug, and refrigerate it. At lunch time, I went to go get the rest of my sandwich but was unable to find it, until she suggested I "look under the piss jug." FML

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

by both are dimwitted / 12/23/2014 at 1:32pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boss sent me a link on how to write a good resignation letter. FML

by scoold / 12/21/2014 at 5:02pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Work

Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2014 at 9:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped his phone, and it fell right next to my foot. The screen was facing upward, and looked like he was taking pictures of his junk in the office toilet. FML

by Vkaz / 10/02/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm / United States (California) / Work