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hamburgerjung

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hamburgerjung

0Fucked!

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  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hamburgerjung's page activity

Visits<b>ManiSwagBoii</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:53pm<b>KK3137</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:43pm<b>happy2468</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:10pm<b>JesterMester</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:37pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:12pm<b>silencebabyy</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:24pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:34pm

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hamburgerjung's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43669) - you deserved it (2940)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, for the second time, I had an argument with my mother about whether William Shakespeare was a real person or not. FML

#21376501
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25088) - you deserved it (2255)

On 03/17/2015 at 4:35pm - misc - by ohno - United States (Michigan)

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

#21371721
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41) - you deserved it (4587)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:28am - work - by schoolsucks - United States (Colorado)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37234) - you deserved it (4223)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18110) - you deserved it (26352)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
112 comments

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40902) - you deserved it (5071)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40324) - you deserved it (2987)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

#21322801
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37315) - you deserved it (2935)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

#21322691
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29516) - you deserved it (2501)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31770) - you deserved it (2847)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28952) - you deserved it (7229)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (7185)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)



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