Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hamburgerjung

Search for a member

hamburgerjung

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits :
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hamburgerjung's page activity

Visits<b>santosb1</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:12am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:21pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:13pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:07pm<b>ManiSwagBoii</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 7:53pm<b>KK3137</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 6:43pm<b>happy2468</b> - the 03/02/2015 at 10:10pm<b>JesterMester</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:37pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:12pm<b>silencebabyy</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:24pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:34pm

Fucked!<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 3:21am

hamburgerjung's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of hamburgerjung's badges

hamburgerjung's favorite FMLs

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30223) - you deserved it (3002)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my two managers, both over 30, were arguing over whether or not butter is a sauce. FML

#21401688
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25898) - you deserved it (2490)

On 04/29/2015 at 10:49am - work - by Goatczar - United States (Utah)

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

#21397883
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41288) - you deserved it (2816)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (30249)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38098) - you deserved it (4928)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45382) - you deserved it (3338)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, for the second time, I had an argument with my mother about whether William Shakespeare was a real person or not. FML

#21376501
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25129) - you deserved it (2260)

On 03/17/2015 at 4:35pm - misc - by ohno - United States (Michigan)

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

#21371721
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69) - you deserved it (4605)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:28am - work - by schoolsucks - United States (Colorado)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37421) - you deserved it (4236)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18157) - you deserved it (26415)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
112 comments

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40934) - you deserved it (5074)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40362) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: