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hamburgerjung

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hamburgerjung

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  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hamburgerjung's page activity

Visits<b>happy2468</b> - 21 hours ago<b>JesterMester</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:37pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:12pm<b>silencebabyy</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:24pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:34pm

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hamburgerjung's favorite FMLs

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (4285)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17957) - you deserved it (26417)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
113 comments

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40848) - you deserved it (5065)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40274) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

#21322801
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37390) - you deserved it (2924)

On 12/23/2014 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Can't, bigamy's illegal." I still don't know if she was joking or not, because she keeps changing the subject whenever I mention it. FML

#21322691
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29475) - you deserved it (2496)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31732) - you deserved it (2845)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (6811)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33331) - you deserved it (7153)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33322) - you deserved it (3001)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34629) - you deserved it (3276)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47460) - you deserved it (4879)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30417) - you deserved it (3367)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)



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