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hamburgerjung

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hamburgerjung

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  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hamburgerjung's page activity

Visits<b>JesterMester</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:37pm<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 5:12pm<b>silencebabyy</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:24pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:34pm

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An insomniac or a creature of the dark

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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hamburgerjung's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML

#21318970
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (2449)

On 12/17/2014 at 2:35am - love - by monster in law. - United States

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (6597)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML

#21315592
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29004) - you deserved it (6050)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anon - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father for permission to take his daughter's hand in marriage. He asked me "Which one?" I said "Uh, the one I'm dating... Lisa." He belched and said, "Yeah sure, throw 'er off a cliff for all I care. Piss off, boy." So much for chivalry. FML

#21308242
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33005) - you deserved it (2984)

On 11/29/2014 at 4:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33861) - you deserved it (2992)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

#21296872
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46385) - you deserved it (4827)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30295) - you deserved it (3358)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum yelled "Son of a bitch!" as I narrowly beat her at a game of Mario Kart. I jokingly yelled back "Hell yeah I am!" Now I'm grounded for two weeks, birthday included, all because my mum's a sore loser. FML

#21292742
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35399) - you deserved it (8572)

On 11/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I overheard my dad telling his friends that the only way I'll ever sleep with a woman is with the help of Rohypnol. FML

#21292660
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25790) - you deserved it (2411)

On 11/05/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by chlorobitch551 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34209) - you deserved it (4920)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32388) - you deserved it (2885)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML

#21290447
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (9248)

On 11/02/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37586) - you deserved it (10599)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

#21290277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30423) - you deserved it (4407)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (2608)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)



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