Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hallucinog3n

Search for a member

hallucinog3n

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : `Abdulqudus Khan Kelay, Afghanistan
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 13796
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About hallucinog3n : Psychonauts seem strange; staring stupidly, stamina slowly saps. Sleep struggles surely suffocate sensible souls.

hallucinog3n's page activity

Visits<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:04pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 2:08am<b>Rachmini</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 8:58pm<b>Narttu</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:32pm<b>zoegirl_455</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 3:24pm<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 8:33pm<b>bossyass</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 2:50am<b>_Willa_</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 2:05pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 10/15/2013 at 1:41am<b>lorellecaimyth</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 12:38am<b>meepmerp</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 6:54pm<b>Kitty19</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 7:09pm<b>KendraLaine</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 12:45am<b>BrookieCookie17</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 1:59am<b>IAmZim</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 4:15am<b>skehar</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 12:10pm<b>silksheets</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 9:18pm<b>sarajane18</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 8:42pm

hallucinog3n's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hallucinog3n's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML

#1643455
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18636) - you deserved it (42700)

On 05/04/2009 at 8:46pm - kids - by Jon (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

#966967
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70504) - you deserved it (25342)

On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
677 comments

I agree, your life sucks (686376) - you deserved it (55357)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

#867771
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67132) - you deserved it (4718)

On 04/08/2009 at 6:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90674) - you deserved it (27024)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90674) - you deserved it (27024)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (239802) - you deserved it (31629)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

#152949
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98466) - you deserved it (10661)

On 02/27/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by justanaccount (woman) - Spain (Madrid)

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

#150078
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17362) - you deserved it (47946)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by beachbum (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (121750) - you deserved it (22145)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: