About hallix : I always fall in love with fictional characters. And then they die.
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hallix's favorite FMLs
by Tara115 / 02/09/2014 at 2:20am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML
by sciencesadness / 02/08/2014 at 6:24pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML
by mariana / 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids
by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
by mom / 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:32am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 4:41pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML
by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by sausages / 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm / Macedonia (Karpos) / Health
by jseid2 / 01/15/2014 at 12:54am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was laying down with my girlfriend, when she asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the junk. I awkwardly said no, and she replied, "Well maybe that should change." while rubbing my shoulder lovingly. I'm scared. FML
by Anonymous / 01/14/2014 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Health
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I was driving in a straight line on a completely deserted road in the open bush. I sneezed… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…