Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hallix

Offline (the 08/24/2014 at 10:32am) | Search for a member

hallix

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1864
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

About hallix : I always fall in love with fictional characters. And then they die.

hallix's page activity

Visits<b>trina_boo</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 5:41pm<b>MyNameIsEmma</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 6:00pm<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:39am<b>curticus</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:31pm<b>jamescrazy96</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:48pm<b>1two3four5six</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:05am<b>mysadlyfe</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 5:54pm<b>katherinebby17</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 8:11am<b>B4rn3yST1NSON</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 7:00am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 6:03pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:21pm<b>conman531</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 3:09pm<b>straww</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 6:34am<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:24am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Erandus</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:01pm<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 12:10am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:16pm

hallix's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of hallix's badges

hallix's favorite FMLs

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

#21064082
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54286) - you deserved it (4836)

On 02/18/2014 at 12:45am - love - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was feeling really good about myself for running and walking everywhere so much so that I was out of breath and panting. Well, until I remembered that I was playing a video game and it was my character that was doing the running around that is. FML

#21063762
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (39148)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:57pm - health - by Tomb Raider Wannabe (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after 3 weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML

#21063710
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35586) - you deserved it (4684)

On 02/17/2014 at 8:01pm - kids - by LittleArtist - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

#21062139
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39703) - you deserved it (6051)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:37am - misc - by snowlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52331) - you deserved it (7830)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37565) - you deserved it (4311)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50950) - you deserved it (5068)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49412) - you deserved it (8613)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

#21060563
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53198) - you deserved it (5044)

On 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm - intimacy - by accident (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46308) - you deserved it (6548)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

#21059009
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31517) - you deserved it (47618)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

#21058081
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45592) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

#21057323
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45022) - you deserved it (5877)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I heard my sister talking to my mom about me, saying that I have the ability to suck the life out of a room like a Dementor. I walked in and asked what she meant by that. My mom replied, "She means you're an asshole." I love you too, mom. FML

#21055293
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34138) - you deserved it (6081)

On 02/09/2014 at 12:00pm - misc - by jigglepuff - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: