About hallix : I always fall in love with fictional characters. And then they die.
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hallix's favorite FMLs
Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML
by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
by drunk under 18 teenager / 08/19/2014 at 9:37am / Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz) / Geek
by Degueusement / 08/18/2014 at 12:48am / Intimacy
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML
by meltdowninrels / 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Love
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by weirded out / 08/10/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (California) / Work
by WickedRene / 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML
by Emliy / 08/01/2014 at 1:06am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by idiot bro / 07/06/2014 at 2:04pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister was upset because she felt like no one liked her. Without thinking, I replied, "It's okay. If I acted like you, people would probably hate me, too." This sounded sympathetic in my head. FML
by wiifantcso / 07/01/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by too cool / 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by mymumdidntloveme / 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by outoflove / 06/30/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
- Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are… Today, I have a condition that, when I pull my foreskin back, it looks as if a rubber band has been… Today, I was in the shower and I heard my boyfriend walk in. I struck my sexiest pose and when he…