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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22271) - you deserved it (2465)
On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20110) - you deserved it (1954)
On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13088) - you deserved it (8402)
On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)
Today, I totalled my car. I flipped it over on the freeway and broke my collarbone in the process. I was in extreme pain and unable to move. It took the ambulance an hour to get there in rush hour traffic. The song repeating on my iPod was, "Don't Worry, be Happy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28636) - you deserved it (3603)
On 11/04/2009 at 12:18am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7705) - you deserved it (56077)
On 10/28/2009 at 2:40pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I told my girlfriend over MSN that we had to talk. I log on to facebook and the first thing I see is that she changed our relationship from "In a Relationship" to "It's Complicated." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18562) - you deserved it (7943)
On 10/21/2009 at 12:07am - love - by wtfrelationship (man) - Singapore
Today, I was eating M&Ms on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (45754) - you deserved it (10322)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36200) - you deserved it (10501)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
Today, I got jumped by five dudes who took my phone. On it I had naked pictures of myself. An hour later they sent the pictures to all of my contacts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15922) - you deserved it (30499)
On 09/07/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by c-mack (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I ran into my parents bedroom after I heard my name and what sounded like painful screams. When I opened the door my parents were on top of each other laughing hysterically. They needed me to find the key to the handcuffs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44907) - you deserved it (1955)
On 09/07/2009 at 5:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8524) - you deserved it (51751)
On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10705) - you deserved it (32129)
On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84482) - you deserved it (17446)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42963) - you deserved it (1970)
On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44800) - you deserved it (3099)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
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