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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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haleycstar

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haleycstar
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 414
  • Number of comments : 45
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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ohdangkids

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haleycstar's favorite FMLs

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

#11994829 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (30486) - you deserved it (2659)

On 07/20/2010 at 12:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents booked my 18th birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's. FML

#3338275 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (51036) - you deserved it (5011)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

#3334132 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (56605) - you deserved it (4880)

On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608 (464)

I agree, your life sucks (30241) - you deserved it (98469)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (704)

I agree, your life sucks (120449) - you deserved it (28815)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML

#1487468 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (71024) - you deserved it (6092)

On 04/30/2009 at 11:11am - health - by buymeadrank (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228736) - you deserved it (19505)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)